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Heart pounding, I dropped my head into my hands and turned around, but a hand with a vice grip stopped me.
I shrugged Kova off like his touch contained a disease. He tried again. "Go away. I don't know why you're here anyway," I said, eyes trained on the floor. I was too embarrassed to look up.
"Adri—"
"Leave me alone," I gritted out, slapping Kova's hand away. Just as I took another step, his hand clamped down on my bicep.
Something in me snapped and I whipped my arm back. My eyes lifted as heat rose to my tear stained cheeks. I stared at nothing but the space between both men and felt everything roaring to a head inside me. I couldn't look at either one. Wrath flowed through from the tips of my toes to the top of my head at an alarming rate. I stiffened.
"Get away from me." He stepped toward me as I stepped back. "Are you deaf? Get away. I don't want you here."
"I just want to talk to you," Kova pleaded.
"I have nothing to say to you. You've made it perfectly clear what your motives are."
"Coach, I think it's best if you leave," Hayden suggested.
Kova glanced over at Hayden and gave him an exasperating once over from head to toe. "I do not take orders from pony boys." Then he looked back at me.
"I. Hate. You." I looked into his eyes as I let the words slip from my lips in disgust.
Kova didn't blink, his expression blank. He acted like the words didn't faze him and stepped closer until he invaded my personal space and I was forced to shove at his rock-hard chest. He didn't budge. His hands clamped down on both my arms to confine me to him and I began thrashing in his arms.
Between the vodka and my out-of-whack-emotions, I broke down. "Get out!" I bawled. "Get. Out." His fingers tightened around my arms and I thrust my palms under his chin to push him away. Hand rearing back, I tried to slap him a few times across the face, but he moved too fast and dodged my attack each time. Kova began speaking in his native tongue, his Russian growing louder and louder with each spasm of attack and assault I rained down on him. "I hate you! I hate you!"
An arm wound around my narrow waist from behind. "Adrianna. Stop," Hayden ordered, trying to grapple me. I wrenched and yanked and twisted my arms in circles in an effort to loosen Kova’s iron grip. Just when I thought I'd won, Kova let go, but I was too slow. He dropped both arms over my shoulders and pulled me to him. Still, I fought, arching my chest back, making it difficult on him. I thrashed in his hold, and raised my knee to kick him as both he and Hayden tried to control me.
"Last chance," Kova said, but I didn't listen. He tightened his arms and squeezed until he restrained me, like he had me in a damn straitjacket. Sandwiched between Kova and Hayden, I couldn't move, my entire body was locked between the two. I could only wiggle my fingers. Emotions soared. I wasn't strong enough to win, and for a split moment, I wondered if I ever would be strong enough for anything. Anger fled and deep dejection filled me.
Surrendering every ounce of myself, I dropped my forehead to Kova’s chest and sagged against him, depleted.
Hayden hadn't moved. He left a protective hand on my hip as he stroked my hair while I whimpered quietly.
Stupid alcohol. Stupid Kova. Stupid Hayden.
Chapter Five
I don’t know how long we stood there before I heard Kova speak.
"I am not going to hurt her, Hayden," Kova said in a tender tone I didn't expect. "Step back."
Hayden listened and created a small amount of distance between us. "Don't you understand, you dumb fuck. You already have."
He was right and more tears seeped from my eyes. Kova had hurt me more than anyone I thought physically possible.
"I hate myself for that more than you can ever know," Kova admitted, and the conviction in his voice broke my heart. He did hate himself, that I knew. One of his hands drifted to my lower back and ran in soothing circles. I let out an exhausted breath.
"And what about Katja?" Hayden demanded. "Do you hate yourself for hurting her?"
Kova tensed.
"She does not know anything…and it is going to stay that way."
Hayden drew in a breath. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"
"You think I am happy for what I have done? You do not know anything, Hayden. Not even the half of it."
Pulling back, Kova looked down at me but I was too mortified to meet his gaze. My nose was running, my eyes couldn't stop leaking, and my hair was matted to my face.
