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Terrified he would call the cops, I gasped for air. I couldn't think straight and feared the worse.
Gripping the edge of the countertop, I pleaded with him. "You think we're the first people to ever have an affair? Because we're not."
Kova cupped my cheek to turn my attention back to him. "Breathe," he ordered, his eyes soft as he regarded me. With Kova, that was all I needed. One deep look to know his thoughts, and right now, guilt prevailed to be the strongest emotion. "Are you okay?"
"No, she's not okay, you asshole," Hayden snarled.
"What can I do for you to see it from my perspective?"
Hayden shook his head, and my stomach dropped like a ten pound weight had settled in my gut. "We're running in circles here. I don't even know how to respond to that." He put his hands up. "You know what? Fuck this. I'm out." He grabbed his keys and made his way to the door. "I can't sit here and watch this pedophile manipulate you," he spat in unreserved disgust and I recoiled. "I'm going for a run. When I get back later, he better be gone."
"Get back later? Why would he come back?" Kova probed, his heated glare scorched my cheek. I looked at him.
"He's sleeping over."
"He is sleeping over?" he growled.
"Yeah, since we're dating and all," Hayden antagonized. The gleam in his eyes overshadowed the revulsion he exhibited moments before.
"Oh my God. Seriously?" I asked in annoyance.
He shrugged. "It's the truth." His gaze moved to Kova. "Right, Coach? It's why you took Adrianna out of the meet, isn't it? Because you thought we were fucking, meanwhile you were the one screwing her all along." A sardonic snicker escaped Hayden. As he grabbed the door knob, he paused to get in one last word. "It's pretty fucking sad how he brainwashed you, you know."
My lips parted as he pulled the door open, letting it bang against the wall, then slammed it shut on his way out. In the time that I'd known Hayden, I'd never seen such aggressive emotion or heard him curse in the way I just had, and it was all my fault.
My shoulders slumped as I glanced at Kova. A tick worked in his jaw. If looks could kill, Hayden would be a pile of ashes right now.
Kova looked back at me and our eyes locked. Inches from my face, I inhaled his cologne that I'd come to love. Dark notes of tobacco with a sensual blend of light citrus and warm cinnamon enveloped me. My gaze travelled to his mouth. The light dusting of jet black facial hair was becoming his signature, lazy look. My heart thundered in my chest, beating against my ribs, as I reached out tentatively to feel him. His eyes followed my hand as he held still, and the tips of my fingers gently grazed his cheek, brushing the stubble of hair. "I like this," I whispered. My thumb glided along his sharp jaw toward his ear where my fingers threaded in his hair. The man was gorgeous on the outside, but I had to question the color of his soul.
Kova didn't move a muscle. My eyes focused on his inflamed lip where Hayden sucker punched him and I wondered what he'd tell Katja. I had a good idea why he was here, but then again, this was Kova. Always enigmatic.
"Why did you come here?" I asked.
Kova grasped my fingers in his hand and brought them to his lips. Closing his eyes, he gently kissed each finger like he was savoring the touch of my skin.
"To talk."
"Talk about what?"
He opened his eyes to reveal a startling emerald color. "How I treated you earlier, what I said to you, it was wrong."
A burst of hope bloomed in my chest and I sat up higher. A little smile tipped my lips. "You mean you’re apologizing for taking me out of the meet." He stayed silent as I stared at him for a long moment, waiting. "That's what you're apologizing for, right, Kova?" I asked again, almost demanding that was what he came here for. I waited… and waited… and waited. When he didn't answer, I jerked my hand back as the smile fell from my face.
"You're not sorry at all, are you?" I asked, my voice barely audible.
Kova exhaled a breath and glanced away. He wasn't sorry. Not in the least. He may be ragged with shame, but my heart could only take so much. It wasn't fair what he did, and I wasn't going to allow his guilt to make me forgive him. It wasn't okay.
While the vodka had allowed me to momentarily forget the mess I was in, his nonexistent words brought everything back full circle and slammed into my gut.
"I think we're through here." I tried to jump off the counter, but Kova placed a hand on my thigh to stop me.
"Wait."
His nostrils flared while his eyes darted around every surface, besieged, I’m sure, to find the right words. Wouldn’t be the first time.
Scratching the back of his head, he finally spoke. "I am incredibly sorry for what happened between us in my office. It was not what I expected, nor what I would have wanted to happen. I am disgusted. The words I said to you, what I threatened you with, it was heartless and cruel and I hope one day you can forgive me. I should have told you sooner that I planned to pull you from the meet instead of catching you off guard and embarrassing you in front of the team." He shook his head and looked around my condo again, unable to meet my gaze. He let out a long sigh, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I do not know who I have become… I hate myself for the pain and agony I have caused you."
Kova left me utterly speechless.
