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My heart went out to the girl. "That's terrible. I can't help but feel bad for her."
"Do not feel bad for her. Your feelings will only hinder your performance. Block out the emotion and watch how far you go in this sport. Think only about yourself and how you can better yourself."
That upset me. "I feel bad for her because I've been there, Kova. So have you. Working so hard to be the perfect gymnast and then failing. What she's doing matters so much to her. Making those mistakes hurts, especially when your coach sucks. I feel her pain."
"Yes, we all know what it feels like, but use her mistakes to improve yours. Leave your feelings at the door. You have one job to do, one chance to get it right. Adrianna, you will never get a second chance at a first impression. One chance, Adrianna. Make it count. Emotions will just screw you if you let them take o
ver. Regret forms. It drives you in a direction you are not meant to go in. Block it out. Do not let that happen. Harden yourself and keep your eye on the prize. Ruthless, yes. Cruel, yes. You need to shut down inside and only allow your love for gymnastics to shine through. Only feel the sport and the motions and use all of it to express yourself in the best way you can. That is what you need to get ahead. Trust me. It will be worth it in the end. I give you my word."
His words were a hard pill to swallow. I needed to sacrifice my emotions to win and I wasn't sure how to make that happen. Keeping myself calculated and controlled would be a hard task to achieve, but it made sense because no one thrived in the business world with emotions riding on their sleeve. In some backwards way, he had a point. It would only improve my odds of reaching the podium.
"Okay. I can try."
The coach finally stopped yelling at the girl and stood up. She picked at her nails and kept her head slanted toward the floor. He glanced in our direction and locked eyes with Kova. He pushed his chest out, and his stare was lethal.
They glared at each other until his eyes traveled down to mine and he covered my whole body with his seedy gaze. Kova stiffened next to me, his hands fisted into tight balls, turning his knuckles white. I could see what he meant now. I shivered, my stomach churning with unease. I didn't like the way he looked at me. I wanted to get as far as I could from that man.
"Go take a seat. I will be there soon," Kova said under his breath, not taking his eyes off the coach. I nodded and he walked toward the man, intent heavy in his stride. His body moved like a caged tiger. His thick legs were strong and powerful, and his shoulders swayed with persuasiveness that demanded attention. As he stopped to speak to the coach, Reagan appeared in my line of view.
My stomach pitched at her icy glare and the apple I had for breakfast suddenly felt lodged in my throat. She was malicious, and the calculating look in her eyes tangled with me. Then I remembered her little secret, and like sap dripping from a tree, the anxiety over Reagan’s accusations faded away and a smile slowly pulled at my lips.
Her eyes flashed as I winked and gave her a little wave, then I gave her my back.
Chapter Twenty-One
All day I watched every move Kova made, the way he spoke to the girls, and how he gave them last minute pointers. I picked up on enough to absorb and reflect on it.
I hated being near him and I loved it at the same time. I found I craved his words, his instructions, his guidance. He'd whisper his thoughts to me while we watched routine after routine where he—and the judges—would find errors. I had spotted most of them, but then he'd surprise me with something I didn't catch or really put much thought into.
"Oh shit, she's screwed," I said under my breath when a competitor fell off the balance beam. A fall held an entire point deduction, which was huge and utterly devastating.
Kova slightly looked at me but kept his focus on the routine. "Not necessarily. Her routine is flawless so far."
I frowned. "A fall is never good though."
"True, but just watch and wait."
Once she finished, her score went up and it shocked me. Kova smirked like it was exactly what he expected.
"Other than the fall, she executed an absolutely perfect routine. She only lost, at most, a point and a half."
I pulled back. "Where did the other half come from if you said she had a perfect routine?"
He held his thumb and forefinger a centimeter apart. "She had a very, very slight balance check when she got back up."
Huh. I hadn't even noticed that one. "It is all about what is going on up here." Kova gently tapped the side of his temple and lowered his voice. "Gymnastics is just as much mental as it is physical, and the balance beam is the only event that requires the most mental focus. She knew her fall would cost her and that she had to get her head back in the game to come out on top."
The next girl who competed didn't fall, but was currently behind in the standings to the one who had fallen. I looked at Kova for clarification.
"I caught four errors just from the five major skills alone. Did you?"
I'd spotted some. "I saw she bent her knees in two of them."
"Good. Those are point two each time. So now we are at point eight in deductions in just that alone. While she stuck her dismount, she had a heavy balance check. The bigger the wobble, the bigger the deduction. With those two mistakes alone, she now has more deducted than the girl with the fall. Her body posture was terrible, and her toes turned in badly. I would say at least another point three, point four for just that. Now imagine you are sitting as close as the judges." He gave me a knowing look.
It was easy to forget how quickly deductions added up. And unless you had a trained eye for the sport, those mistakes were not easy to spot.
"Some judges curve the scores." He paused. "By the way, the girl with the fall, that is Sloane Maxwell. She is one of the top elites in the country right now. Everyone is after her. Did you watch her eyes when she was competing? She is a fighter that one. Falls happen to everyone. I do not care how incredible you are, it is almost impossible to correct your center of mass when flipping over a piece of wood that is only ten centimeters wide. In the end, it is your difficulty, but more so execution, that makes the difference. That is why when she got back on, she rocked it. That is why you practice until you cannot get it wrong. You forget what is happening around you and you only focus on what you are doing at that moment and nothing else. You leave everything else at the door."
