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"I do not have to answer to you." Each word packed a punch. I reeled back at his harsh tone. The air in the room changed completely and I was confused. He looked down at me with shrewd eyes.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Oh, so we're back to this?"
"Yes, we are."
I pursed my lips together. "I feel just peachy," I said sarcastically.
"Do not get cute with me. You got what you wanted."
"I did, but why didn't you?"
He shook his head and kept his mouth closed. As if the answer was obvious, but it wasn't. Kova got out of my bed and walked into the living room to collect his shirt. I followed behind.
"Kova. What's your problem? Why the sudden change?" I pushed.
"Because it is not what I wanted!" he roared, spinning to face me. "I told you, I did not want this, but you push, and push, and push until I break. I do everything I can to keep you away. I take you out of a meet, I am purposely mean to you, and yet you keep coming back. But then I see you need help and I cannot stop myself. Anything you want, I want to give you. I cannot not bend to your will. I wish I could, but I cannot. I do not understand what else I can do anymore. You are breaking a man. Do you not get that? You are breaking me," he bellowed with his hand to his chest, his eyes pleading with me to understand him.
My jaw dropped. "What about what happened in your office? That was all you." I retorted.
"Just let it go," Kova said dejectedly, staring at the floor, hands propped on his hips. "Go. Come on." He looked up and stalked toward me.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"We are not going anywhere. You are going to rest in bed while I get you something to eat."
"Just stop. I feel like you're babying me."
Kova replied in Russian and that set me off. "You know damn well I don’t understand what you said. You did that on purpose to talk shit."
Kova stared right through me. I felt two inches tall.
"Words hurt, and I am trying not to hurt you right now."
"We just had sex not even twenty-four hours ago, so that hurts even more than you can imagine," I said quietly.
Filled with more remorse and regret than I thought possible, I turned around and walked to my room.
Chapter Thirty-Four
"Thank God you didn't hit the fuck you button on me…again," I said quietly into the phone while sitting on my bed. Kova was still in the other room and I didn’t want him to hear. I needed some time alone. He had hurt me; but it appeared I had hurt him more, and that caused a massive amount of guilt to weigh down on my shoulders.
I didn’t want to hurt him.
"Where have you been?"
"Around," Avery said casually. "Sometimes you get busy and I can't get ahold of you," she added in a snippy tone.
I frowned. "That's not true. I don't have any missed calls or texts from you."
"Whatever. Things have been hectic. What's going on?"
I didn't like the perturbed sound in her voice, but I also didn't push. "I just miss talking to you, I miss hanging out with you. I wish you were here."
"You're getting mushy. Wait. Why do you sound so fucking sad?" she scoffed. We didn't do mush. "We haven't talked in a cool minute and when we finally do, you sound like you're ready to drive off a bridge. Please don't tell me you're listening to cutter music now."
Something between a huff and a laugh escaped me. "Cutter music?"
