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He stared flatly at me. "Just answer the questions."
The elevator chimed and we stepped in. "No. I'm not answering them. It's none of your business." The doors closed and I stared at our reflections in the brassy mirror. I watched Kova's lips as he spoke, counting down the minutes until I could crash in my bed.
"Contrary to what you believe, it is my business. I bet your heart beats harder and faster than usual. Headaches?"
"The only headaches I have are the ones you cause," I quipped.
"Shortness of breath?"
"Only because I'm fighting the urge to punch you." Kova hesitated when the elevator opened up. Quietly we walked to my unit. "I'm not in the mood, and I'm really tired. Please, just go home."
"I want you to tell me what is wrong."
If this was his way of beating an admission out of me about the blood work I had done because my dad went behind my back, it wasn't going to work. Once Kova left, I'd have to call Dad to make sure he didn't utter a word.
"Why would you think anything is wrong?"
"Just a feeling."
I hated that he could sense something was off. Now it made me paranoid.
"Well, you're wrong. I'm just tired and want to go to sleep," I said again.
"You would tell me, yes?"
I hesitated, then let out a breath. "Yeah, the same way you tell me everything that’s going on with you."
I unlocked my door and pushed it open without saying another word. As if I could tell him about the voicemail I had received, or the injury I was sure I'd reawakened at camp, or the results of the blood work I was scared to get.
"If you want me to leave, I will. Let me at least make sure you are settled in and then I will go. I remember how you were after the first camp and want to make sure you are taken care of." He dropped my bag to the floor and said, "But do not think for one second that I did not notice your limp."
I swallowed hard, my stomach tensing. I thought I'd done well with hiding it.
"Fine. But I don't know why you're pushing so hard. You were doing so good at respecting my boundaries and now it's like you're ruining everything with your controlling ways."
Kova released a deep sigh. His next set of words nearly broke my heart and I dialed back my attitude.
"I just want you to need me.”
* * *
"I just want you to need me."
After he said that, I excused myself to use the bathroom. I was reaching for the toilet handle when I noticed there was blood in the water again. My heart dropped and I froze. I thought the first time was just a freak reaction to the training and stress, but now as I stared at the blood in the bowl, I noticed the color was darker, which told me there was more. I made a quick decision not to tell Kova but knew I would have to address it at my next doctor’s appointment.
I'd taken a long bath in some sort of muscle relaxing salts Kova had brought with him, surrounded by my favorite candles. I soaked until the water turned col
d, then I washed my face clean and clear. There was no blood in that water, so I made a mental note that it only seemed to happen when I peed. I wasn't really a makeup kind of girl, so it was no sweat off my back to remove it for him. I always felt like I had layers upon layers of paint clogging my pores and making me oily when I wore it anyway. I'd only worn it to hide what I was feeling, which turned out to be a total waste.
"You hardly have any food in this house," Kova said, seemingly frustrated once I emerged from the bathroom.
White clouds of steam filtered around me as I glanced toward where he was standing in my kitchen.
"I'm never home, and everything goes bad."
"You are home every night and morning. What do you eat?"
I shrugged. "Protein bars, coffee… Sometimes I pick something up on the way home. I usually have fruit and vegetables but I didn't buy them since I wasn't going to be here."
