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"I usually do but I don't know what I was thinking to not bring them. I guess I just have a lot on my mind. That's all." I would never forget after this, that was for sure.
She eyed me curiously. "Yeah, Hayden's mentioned you've had it rough lately. I know he's been worried."
I hesitated for split moment, then wrapped the headscarf over my ears. There were so many things he could've told her.
"What do you mean?"
She brushed it off and zipped her coat up. "Nothing we can't talk about tonight if you want." She smiled but it wasn't enough to smooth out my feathers. "It's not bad or anything, he’s just been worried about you for a while. We both were."
I stared at her, wondering which direction this conversation would go in when she pointed to my makeup bag. I turned and found I hadn't zipped it closed, and the tops of my medicine bottles were showing.
"You don't need to explain anything to me, I just hope you're okay," she said gently.
Shit. I'd been good at hiding my illnesses for the most part, but with my head focused on my routines and the two-day meet we were at, I'd left the bottles out in the open. Taking the medicine had become second nature to me these days, and I’d been coming to terms with it. Kind of.
Holly walked over and hugged me. "I know we haven't known each other all that long, but I'm always here for you. I love you like a sister."
I smiled and thanked her. "Those are prescriptions from my doctors. I have an autoimmune disease and I have no choice but to take them. I'm fine, Holly. Honestly. I’m better than I've been actually, but we can exchange war stories tonight if you want to."
That was all I was giving her. I wouldn't add I that had kidney disease, or that I'd need a transplant in the near future. I wouldn’t add I that was better because of Kova and the words he’d said to me.
I want to live with you.
But it was the first time I had spoken positive about my future, and surprisingly, it made me feel good.
Rubbing my shoulders, Kova looked down at me. I was freezing, and he was trying to help keep my joints warm before I stepped onto the podium for my first routine. I was a little jealous that he was wearing a thick turtle neck. Combined with his business slacks, Kova looked fine as hell dressed in all black. The color accented his alluring green eyes perfectly.
I shivered and rubbed the side of my head. The headache I woke up with hadn't subsided.
"You are ready," he stated.
Tight-lipped, I nodded as my eyes skirted around trying to take in everything at once. I chewed the inside of my lip. Nerves and a nauseous stomach were a terrible combo. Not only were the best athletes in the world here, but there were sports agents, news stations to televise the competition, college coaches trying to recruit gymnasts, and the Olympic committee too.
"Hey. Look at me," Kova said, and my eyes snapped to his. "Focus on me. Do not look anywhere else and do not watch the other gymnasts. Keep your head in the game."
He tipped his head down and his eyes bore deeper into mine. He was quiet for a moment, helping me find my ground, giving me comfort. I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.
"You got this. You have never been more prepared than this moment, yes?" he said, and I bobbed my head. "Remember why you are here, think about how you got here. You did it because of your perseverance when the world was against you and because of your hard work and determination. You got this, Adrianna. Do not let that voice in your head get to you."
"I'm working on it."
He leaned in and lowered his voice. "Two of your routines have the most points in difficulty than all the girls here. That is huge. It already puts you one step ahead. Even with everything you have been up against these last six months, you kept going when everyone else would have folded. You got this. Just get your head right. Think only about your routine, and smile. Have fun out there. You earned this."
He had a point. Even if the other competitors were able to maximize all their points, I could still take the lead in vault and bars—taking the World Champion titles. The only way that wouldn't happen would be for me to make a mistake. But I wouldn't. I’d worked too hard for this to let anyone take it from me. Especially now. Floor was my favorite and my routine always got the crowd and judges on their feet, so to speak. And beam, well, that was a whole other story, but I wasn't worried.
As usual, Kova was right.
"Adrianna?" he said, and I glanced into his eyes. "It is you against yourself. Some people thrive under pressure while others concede. You flourish more than anyone I have ever seen. And I am not saying that to fill your head with empty words just to encourage you or give you a little pep talk. It is how I truly feel and what I see. It is the truth. Remember, let it inspire you to live your dream. You came to win. Nothing else."
Exhaling a ragged breath, the tension in my neck loosened. I knew the "it" he was referring to was the kidney disease. He was trying to be as discrete as he could because he knew I didn't want anyone to know about it. My face softened. I knew Kova meant what he said, he wouldn't waste his breath on useless words. He was honest to a fault and I guess I liked that about him.
"Thanks," I said quietly. He was always right.
"Now go chalk up. I am sure you could use more."
I forced back a smile and walked over to the chalk bowl. I plunged my hands into the powder and it puffed up in a cloud in front of me. I could taste it in my mouth.
"I'm so nervous," I said to Holly, who was standing next to me. "Why am I so freaking nervous? Maybe I should've eaten something before I left. My stomach is in knots and I'm overanalyzing."
