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"Hayyyy." She smiled when she saw my face. "God, you look like shit. You're almost transparent."
"I've had better days." I joked. "Okay, let me pee and then I'll be right back."
Turning the phone to face the wall, I grabbed the cup and relieved myself. I flushed, still in shock that I was taking pregnancy tests. I fixed the camera to face me. Avery's faced pinched up. "That's your pee?" she asked once I placed the clear cup on the counter to wash my hands. "It's really dark." She looked closer, squinting. "Is that blood?
I looked at it briefly. "Probably. My pee can range from the color of a banana to cranberry juice."
Her face twisted up. "Gross."
"How long does it take for the test to show results?" I asked, opening the first box. My fingers trembled as I pulled out both tests and placed them on a towel next to the cup.
I expelled a heavy breath. What happened next could change everything and I wasn't sure I was prepared for it.
"They're all different. Mine came up really quickly. Open two boxes. Do the early result one and the automatic. We'll save the seven-day one for like a week from now just to be sure.”
I nodded and did what she said. When I had all the sticks lined up next to each other, I stared at them with a weird range of feelings. I most definitely did not want to be pregnant, but what if there was a baby already growing inside of me? Could I get rid of it? I’d always thought I could, but now that I was faced with the seriousness of the situation, I wasn't sure anymore. I had a plan, and that plan didn't include having a baby until I was married and at least twenty-six.
"What are you thinking?" Avery asked softly.
"That everything is fucked up and that my life is about to change. That I don't know what I'm supposed to feel right now. I'm giving myself a headache."
"This is what I want you to do. Dip the stick in the cup for a few seconds, then cap it and place it down. Don't wait, just move on to the next until you're done. Go get a drink of water or whatever it is you drink, and then go back and check the results. Don't hover. You're going to make yourself pass out waiting for the results with the way you're already hyperventilating."
I lifted my eyes to her and paused. Laughing, I hadn't realized I was panting so hard, but man, my nerves were shot. This was a moment of truth, and as eager as I was to find out, I was more terrified than anything.
"I'm scared," I said quietly.
Her eyes softened. "You can do two back flips with a bunch of crazy twists at the same time, run eighty miles an hour toward a table and flip over it, but this scares you?"
I shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah, a little."
Taking one last deep breath, I shook my fingers out and uncapped the first stick, dipping it in the urine for a few seconds. Recapping it, I moved on making sure I didn't look at the previous one until I was done with all four. Avery stayed quiet, watching me. Even though she was hundreds of miles away, I felt like she was right next to me, giving me strength. I needed that more than anything.
Once I finished the fourth one, I grabbed my phone as vomit climbed the back of my throat. I spewed into the toilet, dry heaving until I could barely catch my breath since there was nothing in my stomach to come up.
"This time I know it's your nerves," Avery said, slightly muffled. I turned to look and realized I was covering the phone with my hand. Thank goodness. She didn't need to see me throwing up. Flushing the toilet, I wiped my face and crawled to sit against the bathtub. I brought my knees up and placed my arms on them.
"I don't want to look," I said in all honesty. And I didn't. Tears filled my eyes and I shook my head. "I don't want to look, Ave. I don't want to."
Her face fell, crippling with sadness. "I wish I was there with you," she said softly. "I'd look for you."
"I wish you could. How long has it been?"
"Like thirty seconds."
My jaw dropped. "That's it? It feels like forever."
She smiled sadly. "Yeah, that's how I felt too."
I looked above the phone at the counter and grimaced.
"What's wrong," she asked.
"My pee is more red than yellow from here. Do you think that could alter the test?"
"No, it shouldn't. It's looking for a specific hormone."
"Damn. I was hoping you would say yes."
