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"What is wrong? You are trembling."
Six
"I don't know what happened. I got really weak for a second," I said, somewhere between the truth and a lie.
My forehead was pressed to his neck and I snuggled closer. I inhaled his cinnamon and citrusy tobacco scent and my body relaxed into his embrace. My eyes rolled shut.
"The only thing I do know is that I would’ve hurt myself if I continued. I need a break for a second, Kova. Please. I'm so sorry."
I hoped by using his name he'd hear my desperation.
His hand splayed across my lower back, and I sighed. "Ria," he said low enough so no one else would hear. "I have to put you down. There are too many eyes looking our way, we cannot be seen like this. I cannot be seen like this with anyone."
Pulling back, I shook my head and looked into his eyes. "Please, I can't stand. I feel like I'm going to faint."
It was the truth. I didn't have the energy to stand. I needed to go home, but I bit my tongue because I knew that wasn't an option.
With a frown, Kova curved an arm under my knees and brought me up higher, cradling me to him.
"Take me to the therapy room, please," I said, and he nodded.
When we got there, he gently laid me on one of the tables. I curled onto my side and allowed my eyes to close, lying there for a couple of minutes. The room was icy cold and my teeth were chattering. Kova stroked a gentle hand over the side of my face and pushed my stray hair back.
"I knew I was pushing you too hard." A string of what I presumed to be curse words in Russian flew from his lips. "I thought you could handle it."
Talk about a bolt to the chest to wake my ass up. "I can handle it. I've proved that already, haven’t I?"
He cocked a brow, but his words were soft. "Then why did you have me bring you in here? It is clearly too much for you, Adrianna. I do not want to wear you down, but what happened out there? The way you were all over me could have raised quite a bit of questions. You know we cannot do that when people are here. Tell me what is going on."
"I almost fainted, Coach. I was not all over you."
Screw this. I pushed myself up to face him, my eyes blazing with anger. Kova's words filled me with resentment and I stared at him, letting him see just how I felt. How dare he. He made me feel guilty and I didn't like that one bit. Not when I'd proved myself time and time again. One mistake and it was suddenly the end of the world for me.
"Nothing happened, Coach. I just had a mental block and needed to stop for a second. I worked myself up, I guess. I didn't eat today either, and I got lightheaded, but I'm fine now. Let's go. I'm ready to get back out there."
"No. Lie back down."
Christ, this man was infuriating. "I'm fine. Excuse me for not being perfect like you."
Kova released a long sigh and looked away. He scrubbed a hand down his face. "No…no. I am just being, how do you say it? A dick?"
"Wow. Is that your way of apologizing?" I asked, and he regarded me with jaded eyes. I was fighting internally to hold myself together. "You aren't the type to admit when you're wrong."
"Just know I do not approve of this. You need to be out there practicing, earning your spot on the Olympic team."
"What is it exactly that you don't approve of? What did I do that was so wrong?"
"Taking time off from practice? Leaving early? Arriving late? Taking a little break because you had a mental block? We were not finished for the day, and we have a lot of work ahead of us with so little time."
My jaw dropped. "That's funny. I recall you insisting I sleep in the bed that you share with your wife so I could relax. What about the time when you had me miss practice so I could recover from camp when I didn't want to? That's on you, not me. I could've handled it. Or how about the time when you wouldn't let me come back to practice until I went to the doctor to make sure everything was all right when I told you it was—which it was!" My voice rose with each sentence, and I could feel the vein in my throat straining from yelling back at him. "So it's okay for me to skip out on your terms, but not mine? I wasn't even asking to leave early, just to take a small break, which I never, ever ask for. How is this fair?"
I was getting so angry that I wanted to cry. "Answer? It's not. You're a walking double standard. It's okay when you say it's okay but not when anyone else does. You want everything on your terms so you can hang on to control. Your way or the highway, right?"
Kova's nostrils flared and he stepped closer. He was just a few inches from my face. Pointing a finger downward, he clenched his teeth as he said, "Lower your voice. What happens outside of these walls bears no weight on what happens inside. Inside World Cup, I push you, you take it, and we both win. Just like we have always done. I am doing my job, one you require from me because I am the only one who can give it to you."
A sarcastic laugh broke from my throat. I shook my head incredulously. "You're a piece of work, Konstantin Kournakova. You should be thanking your lucky stars Katja puts up with you."
His eyes glowed with newfound anger. The vascular veins in his arms twirled up toward an astoundingly handsome face. Even mad he was too good-looking for his own good.
