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Joining me under the warm spray, his soft tone raised a few flags. "Hey, what's going on?"
He shook his head, unable to meet my gaze.
"Tell me," I pressed, "please."
Kova let out a long sigh and his fingers danced along my shoulder. We stood a few inches apart and I could feel his emotions as if they were my own. We washed up quickly.
"Nothing is going on. I just want you back where you belong. We do not get much time like this together and I want to make the most of it while we can."
Be still my fucking heart. I made Kova meet my gaze and drew in a quiet breath. He was unguarded, water trickling down is face, but it was the pain in his eyes that sucker punched me. There was so much anguish it tore me up. I always thought I would never win with him, but now I wondered if he actually felt that way with me. He was trying and I was holding back.
Blood rushing through my chest, I was trying to stay strong and not cave and admit my love for him, but when it was so rare for him to be this candid with his feelings, I wanted to let go of that last wall I'd put up and run to him.
"We will not be able to have moments like this often," he said, like reality had dawned on him.
A half smile tugged at my lips. Kova picked up the shampoo and lathered up my hair. "I know. Maybe one day, though." I swallowed and decided to finally give a little piece of me that I knew he needed to hear. "I'm yours." I put emphasis into my words, hoping he'd see I meant it.
Without hesitation, he leaned down and wrapped his strong arms around me, pressing his lips to mine. His tongue swept along the seam, requesting access. I gave in willingly, falling into his emotional embrace.
Pulling back, he exhaled a heavy breath and pressed his forehead to mine. "God. How am I supposed to stay away from you when all I want is to be touching you, holding you, just fucking being next to you breathing the same air? I am going out of my mind trying to make this work and I do not know how without fucking it up. I am obsessed with every part of you and never want to let you go."
Breathless, I knew I needed to reassure him as much as I needed the reassurance for myself. "I wish I had an answer for you that was right. For us, nothing is supposed to be right. We just have to take each day as it comes. Always remember I feel the same way as you."
He nodded. "I know. You are correct. It fucking sucks," he said, almost angrily, but not toward me.
I felt bad. "Nothing worth having ever comes easy, remember? That's what makes it so much better." Just then my stomach grumbled embarrassingly loud. "You worked up an appetite in me."
He pinched my hip. "You could stand to lose a few pounds." My jaw dropped. "I am only joking." He chuckled. "Let us finish up and I will cook you something."
I held up my fingers and said, "I’m getting all pruney anyway."
Kova kissed my fingers and laughed. I turned off the shower and he slid open the curtain to step out. "You Americans and your strange descriptions. Where are your towels?"
I stared, riveted with his body the way water trickled over the dips and curves of his natural muscle. It was when he turned to the side that my lips parted and a sigh worked through me. He was physically perfect with a firm, round ass and hot-as-hell hips that led to powerful thighs. But it was the sexy V at his lower abdomen that twisted a need in me to reach out and touch. What this man did to me…
Kova snapped his fingers and my eyes shot up to him. I blushed, and he was grinning like a fool. He loved it.
"Towels?"
I had to think about it for a minute. "Ah, they're in the closet on the shelf."
I stood in the stall shivering as Kova stepped out and opened my linen closet. I glanced at his reflection in the mirror taking in his magnificent backside down to the floor when something caught my eye.
Sticking out of the garbage were the pregnancy test boxes and the four sticks I'd peed on.
Sixty-Nine
I tried to figure out how I could hide those when it hit me that the closet Kova was opening up contained the last box I'd yet to use.
Oh God.
My heart was beating harder than it ever had before. There was a pounding in my ears, a ringing that shot a shrill of anxiety through me. I felt my emotions rising to the top threatening to break the barrier I’d carefully put up. I felt the tears forming before the words were ever spoken. I felt it all coming, the heated words, the pain that would follow, the accusations. I had no idea what to do. It was all happening in slow motion and I couldn’t stop it no matter how badly I wanted to.
Taking deep breaths, I was trying not to choke, but my chest burned, and I couldn't find the words to stop him from going in there. I'd had my chance to tell him a
nd I hadn't. I'd been a coward, too scared to tell him I was pregnant. My hands shook, and my jaw bobbed. I felt my lunch in my stomach slosh around.
I'd forgotten I'd stuffed the box between the towels. I’d been so upset that day I didn't want to look at it or think about the positive tests, so I’d hid it.
