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Tap Swing Performed on bars, an aggressive tap toward the ceiling in a swinging motion. This gives the gymnast the necessary momentum to swing around the bar to perform a giant or to go into a release move.
Toe On Swing around the bar with body piked so much the feet are on the bar.
Tour Jeté A dance leap where the dancer leaps on one foot, makes a full turn in the air, and lands on the other foot.
Tsavdaridou Performed on beam, a round-off back handspring with full twist to swing down.
Tuck The knees and hips are bent and drawn into the chest. The body is folded at the waist.
Twist The gymnast rotates around the body's longitudinal axis, defined by the spine. Performed on all apparatuses.
Yurchenko Round-off entry onto the board, back handspring onto the vaulting table and Salto off the vault table. The gymnast may twist on the way off.
One
Stage 4 kidney disease.
There were five stages, and I was already at four. Like it was a stage of cancer.
Plus lupus.
My body ran cold and goose bumps broke out down my arms. The number four banged around inside my head, taunting me. I needed to start dialysis and get placed on a transplant list.
I knew better than to google anything, but I couldn't not. I needed to know what I was up against.
At first I started with the medications the doctors had prescribed. Antibiotics, steroids, blood pressure, and pain medication. Then curiosity got the best of me and I explored websites that led to other websites with normal to rare outcomes. Hours of researching how both diseases worked together consumed me. I read countless pages of life expectancy, threads on the side effects of treatments and both illnesses, threads on how my body could reject the transplant, chats on how difficult it would be to get pregnant and carry to full term, topics on how the disease escalated and ultimately had the power to take the life of a loved one.
The stress and anxiety of what could happen, and what most likely would, hammered through me at a pace I couldn't catch up to. I was sick to my stomach over everything. The truth was, I needed to start dialysis immediately, and I needed to find a match for a kidney transplant.
I stood in the kitchen of my condo staring at the row of medicine bottles with names I couldn't pronounce. Pills my life depended on.
My cell phone rang and I snatched it off the counter. Xavier’s goofy face lit up the screen.
"Hey, big brother." I smiled, thankful for the distraction. "Long time no talk."
He groaned into the phone. "Yeah, I know I'm a flake, but I think of you all the time and it's the thought that counts, right?"
"Yeah, I guess so. To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Dad called me." My smile disappeared and I grew quiet. "Ana?"
I hadn't heard that nickname in so long. "I'm here. What did he tell you?"
"Everything. I know everything. How are you handling it? Because I'll tell you what, it makes me sad and really fucking angry that you have to go through this," he said, his voice taking on an array of emotions. "If I could trade spots with you I would. I hate this for you."
I blinked, pushing back my emotions. I'd cried so much lately that I didn't want to start again, and I felt like I would from how sweet he was being.
I exhaled and reached into my refrigerator to pull out a carton of coconut water. I uncapped it and took a sip, eyeing the pill bottles with distain.
"Well, I'm currently standing in my kitchen with bottles of pills lined up and the warnings they print on the sides staring me in the face. May cause vomiting. Take with a meal. May be taken on an empty stomach. Take in the morning. May cause shakiness. Take as needed for pain. May cause drowsiness. Just about every symptom I have for lupus is the same listed for kidney disease. The headaches and hair loss, the pain in my chest, my drastic weight loss I attributed to training so hard. The brain fog and forgetfulness. Lupus has the power to kill people in their twenties due to a heart attack or a stroke, and often causes difficulty getting pregnant with half resulting in miscarriage. Kidney disease goes hand in hand with lupus. My immune system will attack my tissue, organs, and joints. Basically, I'm my own worst enemy."
I stopped when I realized I’d just repeated what I'd read online without taking a breath.
"I'm sorry," I said. "It's probably not what you wanted to hear."
"Don't apologize. And it's exactly what I wanted to hear. I just wasn't sure how to ask, you know?"
I swallowed. "Yeah, I guess."
