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I was in over my head.
The doctor suggested I continue the blading sessions with Kova as needed, and the typical ice therapy I dreaded. She reminded me to stay away from Motrin, and I promised to make an appointment once the season was over should everything continue the way it was.
Easy-peasy.
Once I was back in my truck, I dialed up Dad to tell him about the pain in my kidneys and how bad it's been. I had promised him not to leave anything out. He called Dr. Kozol on another line while I waited. After three minutes, he came back and told me to go see him immediately.
An hour later I was sitting in front of the doctor. A kindness surrounded him that was very welcoming and made me feel at ease. I'd already given a urine sample, had blood drawn, and had a new ultrasound done on my kidneys right when I came in. The technician took photos and measured the size of my kidneys and heart. I watched the screen as she moved the wand around, trying to see anything but all I saw were black and white masses everywhere that ballooned and then shrunk. I had no idea what I was looking at.
Dr. Kozol reviewed the tests, then he got right to the point.
"Adrianna. Tell me what's been going on and don't leave a thing out."
I smiled and eyed the folder in his hand, then proceeded to tell him everything—how I’ve been feeling since I left his office a few weeks ago, how I threw up, how terrible my back has been, the headaches and chest pain, and the fatigue that made me feel like a ninety-year-old brittle woman. I told him I thought the medicine was giving me the shakes and I had nights when I slept like the dead and other nights where my eyes twitched from lack of sleep.
"I bet it's been a rough few weeks for you… A rough couple of months, hasn't it?"
I laughed lightly. "Yeah, you could say that."
"How are you handling everything?"
I shrugged. "Honestly, I don't talk about it. I just keep it to myself. It's easier that way."
His head angled to the side and he eyed me. "It's also very unhealthy to bottle your emotions in."
"I train close to fifty hours a week with tons of conditioning. It helps."
"Are you taking any other medications I'm not aware of? Any over-the-counter or prescriptions? Anti-inflammatory?"
I shook my head and explained I couldn't take them anymore due to my Achilles and the blading. He eyed my leg.
"You're almost seventeen and you're falling apart."
This time I let out a deep belly laugh. "Tell me about it," I said, and smiled.
Dr. Kozol placed the folder on the counter and then turned to wash his hands. "Right now, your immune system is weak, which means your body is a free-for-all. Not getting the proper rest your body needs will set you back, which it's clearly doing." He dried his hands off and pulled on a pair of latex gloves. "While there are preventative measures we can take to help reduce your flare ups and discomfort, ultimately, you'll need more intensive treatment. Your urine results show a slight increase in protein, but nothing I'm too concerned about yet." He pulled the stethoscope from around his neck and put the buds into his ears. "Take a deep breath." He moved the instrument. "Another," he said, listening to my chest. He pulled away and looked at me. "Lupus is a workaholic. It can cause headaches and weight loss, sometimes a low-grade fever. Joint pain. Pretty much what you’re experiencing now. But coupled with the kidney disease, I need to be aware of everything you're dealing with at all times. Even if you think it's small, it could mean more to me. I wish you'd contacted me earlier about the kidney infection. The ultrasound shows small stones, which is why you're experiencing the pain you are." He listened to my back. "Take a deep breath… Another… Another." He leaned in, his brows bunching together. "Do it one more time for me." He paused. "Again?"
"Kidney stones?" I replied quietly.
"They're small and easily passable, but large enough to cause pain. Manageable, too, so nothing to worry about. Up your water intake and I'll give you something for the pain that will help break them down."
Dr. Kozol pulled away and placed the stethoscope around his neck.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
"You mentioned chest pain, which I'm sure at one point you probably figured was from overexerting yourself at practice." Of course I had. I nodded. "Lupus causes inflammation around your lungs, but right now, I can hear the faint sound of fluid grating around them."
My eyes widened. Kidney stones. More protein in my urine. Fluid in my lungs. This had to be a cruel joke. How many more shitty hands could I be dealt? Of course I'd get the highflyer of autoimmunes. That was just my life.
"I have pneumonia?"
"No. Sometimes fluid will build up between your lungs and your chest. It's called pleural effusion and typically goes away on its own."
I exhaled a heavy breath, feeling my heart picking up speed. I was panicking on the inside but trying to remain calm as Dr. Kozol continued to speak.
"It's not bad, but it's something we have to watch since I can hear it. We'll switch your medicine around and up your dose. At any time your chest hurts, you need to take a seat and breathe. You're pushing too hard, Adrianna. I'd order bed rest, but something tells me you wouldn’t take the advice."
"Why do I feel a but coming?" I said.
