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"If I have gray hair, it is because of you, you know."
"Right," I said, drawing the word out through a smile from ear to ear. "You should start looking into dyes. After one, they start growing like weeds."
"Adrianna," he warned, and I burst out laughing at his tone. "You need to understand now that I will never dye my hair."
This was too much fun. "I can dye it for you."
"You will not."
"I'll get you to drink a lot of vodka one night. You won’t be able to say no."
"I already feel like that with you," he admitted, this time seriously. "I find it harder and harder to say no to you."
A shy smile tugged at my lips that grew into a full blown one. My cheeks heated. I liked this easy back and forth with Kova.
"So that's a yes? Cool. I'll start researching dyes for men, and while I'm at it, I'll look for hair regrowth."
Propping his hands on his hips, he smirked. "Nice try, but I am telling you right now that it will never happen. I do not need to color my hair to look young. You make me feel young, and that is all that matters."
Kova reached out but quickly pulled back. Recognition dawned in his eyes. Sometimes when it was just us being normal and playing around, we tended to forget the outside world. I felt his pull, his playful need to wrap his arms around me and tug me to him. I needed that too. My emotions had been an array of sadness and fear, and something as little as this interaction gave me life and a reprieve from my thoughts. People usually took the big moments in life as what spoke volumes, but for me, it was the little things.
"Thanks," I said softly. I brushed back a few strands of loose hair behind my ear. "For this." He knew what I meant without having to say it.
Kova nodded, regarding me with a heartfelt look in his eyes. The way my pulse beat for him wasn't normal. The way he looked at me wasn't normal. And what I felt deep in my bones for him most definitely wasn't normal.
"Okay." He clapped his hands. "Chalk up and let us get going. Yes?"
I turned to walk away, feeling so much lighter on my toes.
"Adrianna?"
"Yes?" I looked at him over my shoulder.
"It is nice to see you smile again. Oh, and when you get a private moment, check your duffle bag." He gave me a knowing look.
The notebook.
I could feel a flutter of the wing that had been clipped desperately trying to fly. Kova didn't know it, but he was breathing life back into me. Each day he helped me find my inner strength so I could grow strong enough to hold myself up again.
What scared me about that was I had a feeling he was going to be the only one who would help me get there.
This time I gave him a real smile that showed exactly what I felt in my heart. And I didn't give a shit if anyone saw.
"Okay," Kova said, rubbing my shoulders a few hours later. He bent down to look me in the eyes and said, "Two events down, two to go. You ready?"
I nodded. I was more than ready. I had this. After two rotations, I was in first place with just four-tenths of a point separating me from second. Anything could happen from here until the last event, but I had a good feeling about it. A really good feeling.
Those two events were my best ones—vault and bars. I stuck both dismounts and received almost maximum points for my routines.
"It is like gravity does not apply to you. You flowed more smoothly on bars than I have ever seen you do before and with height that made even my heart drop. Your lines could not have been more perfect. Let us do the same for beam."
The only event I was truly worried about was beam because of how jittery I already was. It was subtle, but enough to throw me off balance. My bones shook, muscles rattled, and I didn't like it. I couldn’t feel it on the other events, but I had a feeling I would on beam.
Kova grabbed my hands in his. He glanced down. "You are still shaking," he said more to himself.
I tightened my fingers around his. "I'll be fine," I said. "Just nerves." The flash of a camera caught my eyes and I pulled my hands from his.
"Nerves are a good thing if you channel them properly. Focus and control."
