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"Go away."
I gripped my keys tightly. No way was he going to steal them from me this time, but Kova was quick on his feet and trailed me to my car.
As soon as I stepped outside, the rain pelted me in the face, soaking me instantly. I was chilled to the bone with aches. Kova muttered a string of words in Russian, and for once I didn't care what he’d said.
"Let me drive you home."
"Go home to your wife."
I reached for the handle, but Kova placed his hand on the door and stopped me. I blew out a frustrated breath through my nose and grinded my back teeth together.
"Stop this. Talk to me," he demanded, pressing his chest to my back.
"I'm sure she's waiting on you."
"She is not home."
A mocking laugh escaped me. "How convenient. No wonder you're acting like this. You have no reason to rush home or anyone to answer to right now, so you talk to me because you won't get caught."
God forbid, he, or anyone, ever put me and my wishes first.
He stepped to the side and angled his body toward mine. "No, you misunderstand. She is here in Cape Coral but staying with a friend who has a generator. She did not want to lose power and she was concerned for the puppy. She is five minutes f
rom here."
"You got a puppy?" My voice was small and far away. I turned to look up at him. He confirmed it with one nod of his head. The thought saddened me. "Lovely. Next comes kids because that's what everyone does. They get a stupid dog first before they have a kid."
Kova's nostrils flared. He stared, breathing down my neck, not caring he was soaking wet from the rain. His silence solidified my statement and a little whimper left my lips. My jaw trembled with emotion that was suffocating me.
"Adrianna, please. Let me drive you home," he offered.
Thunder sounded in the distance. "I want to be alone."
Kova stood close enough that I could feel him without touching me.
For a split second, I wanted him to reach out and pull me into his arms even though I said no.
I wanted him to fight me and tell me everything was going to be okay, to let me cry on him until I passed out.
I wanted him to say he would always be there for me.
It was a ridiculous thought, considering all things.
I didn't like that he had gotten a puppy, or that he knew my secret. His life wasn't thrown off its axis like mine had been. His life wasn't going to change for the worst the way mine had. No, Kova was busy planning a future, while I was struggling to hold on to what was left of mine.
My breathing labored. An eerie calmness settled in me, a slow current of endorphins rising through my blood. I fought it. I didn't want to let go. I knew it wouldn't be good if I did. I knew every single thing I'd been holding in would come to the surface and I'd break. I needed to be able to control my emotions, but what I really wanted to do was scream and shout and lose it and just cry ugly loud tears to get it all out.
"Adrianna. Answer me."
I slammed my hand against the door and turned toward Kova. Chills slithered down my arms, the rainy breeze pressed on my skin like little knives. Through gritted teeth, I bit out, "You already know everything! What more do you want?" He remained silent, a pensive look crossed his face. "What, Kova? What do you want from me?"
"I know you have not told anyone, and that is not healthy. You have to talk about it, otherwise it will eat away at you and you will lose everything."
"I don't have anything else to lose," I said, looking him directly in the eyes.
A melancholy loss plagued his beautiful eyes, making me almost crumble into his palm. "I want to hear you tell me through your words and your voice. Let me be there for you."
My chest ached from the beating my heart was getting. I didn't want anyone to be there for me, to make me talk. They were there because they felt bad and no other reason. Not because they cared or wanted to hear me complain. No one wanted to hear complaints.
