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The tension between us simmered to a suffocating level.
Maybe now he knew how I’d felt when I’d found out he’d married Katja.
That dam I'd constructed to hold back the tears after the crippling and devastating moments that altered my life was cracking with each blink of my eyes. The flood of emotion in me was rising to a catastrophic level.
Could he feel it?
I felt it, and I couldn't stop it.
"Hurts, doesn't it?" I bit out with a sneer.
"Why would you do this to me? To us?" he said, sounding defeated.
I stopped moving.
My inner ticking time bomb just went off.
I. Fucking. Lost. It.
A maniacal laugh burst from my lungs. This time the tears didn't come because I was sad. No, they came because I felt rage pour out of me in ways I'd never experienced in my life. It inspired me and all I saw was blood.
Fingers trembling, I reached for the heavy candle next to me, and without thinking, I threw it, aiming for his head.
"How could I do this to us? Are you fucking kidding me?" I screamed, jaw quivering.
There was a pounding in my ears, and my chest burned with uncontrollable anger. The glass candle collided with the wall and broke. I would kill him. I would kill him for saying that.
"How dare you say such a thing to me. You're fucking married, Kova. That fucking ring on your finger is proof. You created this fucking mess," I said, moving my finger back and forth between us. “You broke me. You fucking broke us. How dare you try to turn this around on me. If it wasn’t for the fact you got fucking married, none of this would even be happening!”
"I never cheated on you, though," he replied and then ducked when I threw another object at him. "Not like you think. I married her for you, not because I wanted to!"
Candles were missiles and I threw them one by one. I was determined to hit him. My breathing grew dense and thick with each intake of breath and all I wanted to do was inflict pain on him the way he had me. Why did my aim have to suck so bad?
I strode up to him with hate filling my veins. "Are you delusional? You married her for me?" He was breathing just as hard as I was. "That's what you're going with? No, you married her because it was a choice you made, then you came to me when you got married and fucked me on that couch." I pointed to my sofa, my voice cracking as I thought back to that night when I gave him every part of me. That night was the first and last time we ever made love, and it stayed with me ever since. "Another choice you made. How sick and demented are you to say you married another woman for me? How?"
"When did you fuck—" He scowled, the hurt prevalent in his eyes that I almost felt bad. He couldn’t even say the word. Kova's eyes scanned the floor, he looked lost and tangled in his emotions. "I cannot believe you did this," he whispered, his accent thicker than usual.
My eyes widened at his ridiculousness. "When did I fuck Hayden? Is that what you're trying to ask me?"
He looked up. "Was it after the kidney disease? Or before?"
I broke inside.
"Don't say those words!" I yelled and offset his steps again with mine, crying so hard I could hardly catch my breath. Through blurry eyes, I grabbed the neck of the lamp and took a deep breath, struggling to hold on to the little sanity I had left. Kova's eyes dropped to my fisted hand then met my gaze.
"Was it after the lupus?"
"Stop it!" I cried. "Why are you doing this to me?"
Kova was pushing me, goading me, knowing I didn't want to talk about that. Anything but that. My face twisted with heartbreak and with all my might, I yanked the cord from the wall and swung my arm back to throw the lamp at him. An anguished cry left my throat as I hurled it through the air. I took off running to the kitchen, frantically looking for something to chuck at him if he uttered those words again. A wooden spoon would do, a glass, a pan, anything—my eyes landed on a knife.
I reached for the black handle when a heavy body flew into my back. Kova tackled me from behind. A gasp of air burst from my lungs as he spun me around.
"Get away from me—"
"Adrianna."
"Leave me alone. Why are you even here? Go home to your perfect house with your perfect wife and your perfect dog. Stop torturing me."
