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Kova moved onto my other hand. "I do not want you to think when you are out there. I just want you to let your body take over—it knows what to do, trust it. Do not overthink it. We will do our standard warm-up like always."
I glanced around his body. The other girls were warming up with their coaches. We would be up soon.
"Okay. Okay. Okay. I got this."
He looked into my wide eyes. "If you secure this event, you will be headed into the all-around tomorrow. Too many mistakes on beam from gymnasts after you that you are surprisingly still in the running for a spot tomorrow. Between vault and floor, I have a feeling bars is going to be another medal for you."
My brows shot up. "What makes you so sure?"
Some of the gymnasts were already granted entry based on other qualifying requirements that I hadn't been able to meet at previous meets. That made the entry margin even smaller for me.
"I have been keeping track. I firmly believe you will secure a spot."
It was all Kova said. Like he was so sure of it and I had to accept what he said.
I was at a loss for words and smiled to myself. I was so giddy inside I couldn't stop smiling. Shrugging, I said, "Sweet."
After my grips were on and tightened, Kova and I warmed up on bars, loosely running through the routine and practicing some release skills. A few handstands and pirouettes, then my dismount. A couple of quick pointers, Kova reminded me not to overthink and just let my body do what it was made to.
"Let gymnastics live with you," he whispered from behind me.
I didn't move. I just nodded my head. We both knew what those words meant.
Be still my sick heart and listen to him already.
Within five minutes, I was standing in front of the low bar preparing to mount it. This would be the last time I would compete wearing a red, white, and blue leotard, and the final time I’d compete at the Olympics. Kova was right—I was going to let gymnastics live with me in my final performance.
Drawing in a deep breath, I looked over at Kova who stood to the side of the apparatus prepared to step in and spot me like we’d agreed. I was the last one to compete now. Team USA was teetering back and forth between gold and silver, only a tenth of a point away from slipping into silver again. I would either lead us to victory or we'd become first place loser, as Kova had put it once and Danilo had reiterated the last time I was at World Cup.
Funny how I didn't feel like a first place loser anymore like I once had. Not after the struggle I was forced to bear this past year.
"You got this," Kova said, focusing solely on me. "Do not think, just feel," he said, using his hands.
I exhaled and felt the crowd's enthusiasm around me. I used what they were giving as my reason to be strong and help my team take home gold. I had this.
My teammates cheered my name from the sidelines where they stood, just like we had for each one before me. I chalked up one final time on my palms, thighs and feet, and then, I saluted the judges.
One minute and thirty seconds, and it would all be over.
My hands reached for the low bar, my hips swinging forward into a kip cast to a handstand. I stuck it for a second with my hips flat and toes pointed, then swung down into a back hip circle straight to a handstand again. I did this once more then brought my body down and around the bar for a second time. At the angle I'd been trained to release the bar, I did. The bar ricocheted as I reached for the high bar and swung up to a handstand. Switching my grip so it faced backwards for added difficulty points, I fell forward into a full giant and closed my eyes, feeling the wind against my cheeks and tasting the chalk in the air. I knew Kova would be standing right to the side ready to spot as I completed another pirouette holding my body stone still.
I swung down into a giant to gain momentum as Kova stepped closer. Tapping at the right timing, I hollowed out my chest and swung my body around, bringing my hips parallel to the bar and then whipping them as hard as I could into the air as I released the bar at the same time to fly backwards and over it in a pike position. Kova's arms went up as my body came down. I gripped the bar with all my might and moved swiftly into another release skill that we'd worked hard on. Nothing mattered but this routine and the way I felt as I soared through the air from bar to bar like a snowflake delicately drifting in the wind. My heart was on display, my undying love for bars and this sport, it was all there as I performed my routine. I did a total of three releases back-to-back when Kova stepped down and let me do my thing for a couple of seconds until he was standing there again, this time gearing up for my dismount.
I took a quick breath. This was it.
Licking my lips, I spotted the landing mat that had clouds of chalk on it.
My mind went back to my first day at World Cup.
To the excitement and hunger for this moment.
To the pain.
To the anger.
To the betrayal.
It all lead to right now.
