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I smiled. "Don't ever hold back. I want you, and all of you."
Kova slammed his mouth to mine. Each thrust bringing us closer together, our heavy breathing the only thing we could hear. His tongue caressed me the way his cock consumed me, both taking me to new levels of gratification. He deepened the roll of his hips, reaching every depth of me he could, and tightened his arm around my back to hold me still. I reveled in his power, the way he made me feel like I was the only thing in the world that mattered to him. Sex was a way for Kova to express himself, and I opened myself willingly for him to do just that.
The friction between us heightened from the way his mound hit my clit. I trembled around him, feeling the little sparks of desire lick over my body like a firecracker each time. I could feel Kova swelling, getting harder as he was almost there. I felt every rigid inch of his cock inside of me as he increased his speed and lost control. I gasped and shuddered around him as he held me immobile then made me look him in the eyes.
"I need you." He grunted as he pushed into me. "I need you forever. How can we give this up? Do you feel this?" he asked, then slammed into me passionately and I lost my breath. "How are we supposed to walk away from this?"
I couldn't respond. Not without him hearing the tears in my voice. This beautifully anguished man was at my mercy and giving me everything I could ask for. I was a risk, we w
ere the gamble of a lifetime, but he let caution fly because he loved me, he loved us, even though it killed him to do so.
Forty-Four
Kova leaned into me and pressed my back to the bed.
He hovered above me and I held my breath when I met his defenseless gaze. My lips parted as he slid into me with precision and held himself there like he needed this more than I did. My back arched, my nipples pressing into his bare chest.
"I do not want to be the one to ruin your life," he said, and the hitch in his voice sent a shiver down my spine. His honesty broke my heart. He couldn't ruin my life even if he tried. "I do not want it to get worse for you, but fuck, Ria, how do you go on without your other half?"
"You don't."
He kissed me deeply. His tongue was wicked, his kisses devouring me until I was breathless. My hands roamed over the strength in his back, and I took pleasure in the firm muscles and how beautiful his body was.
Kova hiked my leg over his back to drive deeper inside of me with ease. My thighs quivered and he went even harder. I gasped and clenched my eyes shut as he reached so far back it actually hurt. My breath hitched in my throat and I tensed for a second from the pain in my stomach. Kova took me with purpose. He was on a mission to not only have me, but to take what he could. He was a desperate man.
His hips bucked against mine like he was in dire need to be deep inside of me. My nails marked his back as I took what he gave, and I gave him what he so clearly needed of me. I tried not to think about the fact that this might be our last time together.
Kova muttered in Russian but I couldn't make it out.
For the first time in a while, pleasure rose in my blood. My hips surged against his, and the feeling intensified inside of me. We both moaned at the same time in breathless anticipation at the connection. We felt too good together.
Holding onto Kova's biceps as he took me, I kissed his shoulder, the honey curve of his neck, and every inch of his skin I could reach. My inner thighs were wet with both of our desires. His lips found my neck, and my head rolled back in euphoria. My body tingled. I was on the cusp of craving and need. I found myself chasing what only he could give me.
"I cannot lose you," he whispered so low I almost didn't catch it.
Kova's fingers pressed into me. He was speaking in Russian again, but it was a mumbled mess. His body was like this emotional wave crashing into me, shaking violently as if he was lost to something bigger than us.
He pulled out and dropped his weight onto me, then he laced his fingers with mine and stretched our arms above my head. I felt that telltale feel of an orgasm climbing. My mouth fell open and I moaned in pleasure. This man… What he did to me… My toes curled and I wrapped one leg around his from the pressure between my hips.
"Tell me you love me." Kova demanded, but I flinched when he surged back inside me. He was going so deep. "I need to hear it, Adrianna," he said, his eyes clenched shut like he was the one in pain. "Tell me you love me the way that I love you. It is me and you, Malysh." His forehead creased with harsh lines. "Me"—he withdrew and surged in slowly, then let out the sexiest moan yet—"and you."
I attempted to speak, but Kova kissed me ruthlessly, pulling my bottom lip into his mouth and tugging on it. We were two passionate people who were both the best and the worst kind of people for each other. And yet, we couldn't stop. We were addicted to one another.
He squeezed my fingers tighter and brought our joined hands to the sides of my head. My back bowed in response, and I clenched around his fingers, holding on for dear life when I felt the burst of pleasure slice through me.
The orgasm rippled from me and I exploded around his cock. My hips began thrusting into his, desperation glided my clit over his dick, fast and quick. I inhaled. Kova hovered over me, riding me until I saw stars and felt the bursts of energy kiss my skin. He dropped his head to my breast and tugged on my nipple with his teeth. His tongue twirled around it and latched on, pulling on the sensitive tip. A blooming heat spread through my limbs. My pussy clenched around him again, and I was floating down from oblivion.
His cock twitched and his thrusts quickened. Kova ran his nose along the line of my jaw. He grunted in bliss, and I could tell he was getting close to finishing. His back bowed as he fought his release, but I wished he would just let go already. Kova withdrew from me and sat up. His hands reached for my hips and guided me onto his lap. He glanced down to line himself up with my entrance, and froze to a standstill.
I frowned and followed his gaze, curious as to why he stopped. When I looked down, my heart dropped. He was staring at my stomach again.
His lips tugged down.
"I'm okay. Keep going." When he didn't move, I lifted his chin and nipped at his lips. "Kiss me. Kova, please kiss me, I need you."
He finally met my gaze. My stomach tightened at the pure anguish in his eyes. Color seemed to drain from his cheeks.
"I cannot do this to you."
