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"Of course," he responds, almost insulted. "I'm not going to push you or anyone into something they're not comfortable with because I wouldn't want the same for myself. You get what you give in life."
I nod slowly, agreeing with him. We spend a few moments eating in silence. I appreciate that he isn't pushing me into this. It's too soon and I'm just not ready.
"I'm surprised you're not married yet."
Daniel seems like a good catch who actually cares about who he's with and what they want.
"I was engaged once a couple of years ago." Something darkens in his eyes.
I sit up a little straighter. We haven't talked much about past relationships. Not that I care to since it's in the past, and who he's been with doesn't bear weight on the present, but this is something entirely different. This is almost marriage.
"Can I ask what happened?"
He looks directly into my eyes. "She was a lying, cheating whore."
I take a small sip of wine then place my glass down.
Would escorting make me a lying, cheating whore?
I have money bands from the jobs with numbers in the double digits hidden in my room that I'm sure could be considered cheating to most people. Regardless of being emotionally attached to someone or not, having sex with another person other than your significant other is cheating. So I guess my answer is yes.
I don't respond because what the hell do I say to that? Instead, I reach for my glass again and take a large swig, hoping it drowns out my guilt.
"She fucked my best friend for months until I found out. I walked away from both and I haven’t been in a serious relationship since," he says, his tone dripping with resentment. "Until you."
Of course he goes after a woman who secretly sells her body for money.
With the exception of James, sex with my clients means absolutely nothing. It's just sex. Just a blow job. Just some fucking, weird ass, kink fetish. None of it bothers me in the least, but something in my gut tells me Daniel wouldn't see it that way.
I decide right then and there not to tell Daniel about my double life for a long time. When the time is right, then I'll sit him down and tell him I've been doing this job since before I met him.
Exhaling a sigh, I finally say, "I'm really sorry, Daniel. I can't imagine how hard that was for you."
He shakes his head, like his thoughts are dark and he doesn't want to go back there.
"There's only two things I expect in a relationship. Honesty and faithfulness. It's really not that difficult to be a decent human. There's nothing worse than breaking both when you're in love with someone." He pauses and looks away for a moment. "They got married, then a year later she cheated on him."
Daniel huffs under his breath, a revengeful sneer scarcely tipping his lips, and I get the vibe he's happy about karma being dealt.
Once the check is paid and we're walking hand in hand outside, I lean into him and he wraps his arm around my shoulder, holding me.
"I like this," I say softly. "Thank you for dinner."
The comfort between us is creating a warmth in my chest I wasn't expecting. Being with Daniel is easy and I briefly wonder if this is how relationships are supposed to feel. My eyes fall on the people walking briskly around us, rushing from block to block. New York is such a rat race and it feels good to not have to be in a hurry for once.
Daniel looks down at me, and I give him a sated, lazy smile. He returns it too.
"I like this, and I like you, Aubrey. All I ask is that you don't fuck me over, and I won't either."
"I don't usually do relationships, Daniel, but I'm trying for you." I swallow down the guilt eating away at me.
"You're trying, and that's what matters. Don't spread your legs for another man, and I won't dip my dick in another woman. We'll be golden. I'd like to be exclusive with you. I don't do well with sharing."
He’s not asking for a lot. It's what’s naturally expected of any normal relationship, but my stomach is roiling with unease because come tomorrow, I will be spreading my legs for a man whose name I didn't even know.
My chest tightens and I chew the inside of my lip. Maybe dating is a bad idea, but he keeps me feeling wholesome and happy and doesn't demand a lot. He's like that laidback friend who just happens to be a boyfriend at the same time.
He's my sense of normalcy.
