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Lily nodded. “I didn’t want to see his face. I wouldn’t let him in.”
“Totally understandable.”
Lily sighed. “I don’t know what to do. I feel betrayed. And so angry. I don’t want to ever speak to either of you again. But… He’s my dad. I can’t just push him away. And you? You’re my best friend. How am I supposed to push both of you away and not feel a big hole in my life?”
She sank down onto the couch next to me. We sat in silence for a moment.
“I know, Lil,” I said. “I am so sorry. For everything. I should have spoken to you about it from start, but I felt like it was Evan’s secret to tell. And I understand why he didn’t speak to you.”
Lily shook her head again. It was like she was trying to rearrange her thoughts manually. She looked at me, and her green eyes were piercing. They reminded me so much of Evan’s eyes.
“Do you love him?”
Her question hit me like a truck. Did I love him? Love had never been part of the equation. It wasn’t what he was paying me for. But now that I thought about it, I did feel more for him than I was willing to let myself admit.
“I guess, I do. Yeah, I do love him. But it’s not that simple.”
“Why not?” Lily asked.
“Because he’s paying me a lot of money to have this baby,” I said. “Love was never part of the deal. I’m not going to make it difficult for him by telling him how I feel.”
I couldn’t know what Lily was thinking. Her face was unreadable, and she didn’t say much.
“All of this is so weird,” she said.
I nodded. It was weird. I was telling my best friend I was pregnant with her dad’s child. Children. I hadn’t told her that part yet. I was taken aback by her question of whether I loved Evan. I hadn’t thought about it until now. In the end, it didn’t matter.
“This is about to get weirder,” I said.
Lily eyed me.
“I’m not only pregnant, but I’m having triplets.”
I watched the information sink in. Lily blinked at me.
“Triplets?”
I nodded. “I went to the gynecologist for my first ultrasound just before you came over to the apartment on Wednesday. It was a bit of a shock to me, too. But Evan seemed ecstatic. He’s so excited about all of this.”
“I don’t understand,” Lily said. “He’s never mentioned that he wanted more children to me. I don’t know where all this is coming from.”
Evan should have communicated with her a long time ago. It would have made all this so much easier. But Evan was a man, and communication was not their strong suit.
“You’re right, though,” Lily said. “It did get weirder. You’re pregnant with what will be my brothers and sisters.”
I nodded, looking at my hands. “This is really hard for me, Lil,” I said. “I’ve missed having you to talk to about this. I know I should have said something sooner. Please, don’t stop talking to me. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this. I really need my best friend.”
Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath, blowing it out very slowly. “This is so much to take in.”
“I understand that,” I said. “And if you don’t want anything to do with it, I’ll understand that, too. I’d hate it, but I’ll understand.”
Lily shook her head. When she looked at me, her green eyes were bright like she wanted to cry, but her voice was steady when she spoke.
“You know I’ll always be there for you. Even if we fight, even if you do something stupid like get pregnant. With my father’s child.” She shivered. “This is going to take some getting used to.”
“I have to admit,” I said. “I’m terrified now. One baby was scary enough, and now, there are three? I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. I’m only eight weeks along. There are still seven months left, and this is only the beginning.”
Lily frowned. “I don’t understand,” she said. “What was the plan, here? Were you going to leave him with the children and then walk out of his life again?”
I shrugged. “That was the contract,” I said.
“The contract, huh?” Lily asked.
I nodded. The more I thought about it, the worse it sounded. It had been all about the money at first, but I hadn’t been pregnant then. Now that I’d seen my babies on the monitor, it was a whole different story. I didn’t know how I would be able to just walk away. Even if he did triple the amount, these were still my babies, too.
“Everything is different now,” I said. “When I signed it, I hadn’t known that I would feel about it the way I do now. But we have an agreement. I’m not going to make this harder than it needs to be. I won’t expect something from him that we didn’t agree on.”
