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“What are these?” I hear him approach and I don’t even realize that I’m on the brink of tears until I meet his gaze and his face falls. “What’s wrong?”
“I just…you have my underwear in your drawer and pictures of me and…why didn’t you fight harder for me, Bennett? You should have…” I trail off, wondering what he could have possibly done. I was angry and hurt and I didn’t want to hear it at all for the first few months.
He takes a step back, running a hand through his hair. “It sounds like I did, Liv. The only reason you’re even talking to me right now is because I don’t remember anything. He sits down and I sit next to him and he grabs my panties from my hands. “You can’t have these back.”
I chuckle and hand him the pictures as well. “Do you remember any of these?”
He cocks his head to the side and points at one a smile ghosting over his lips like he’s replaying the memory in his head. “I remember this one.” He nods. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful, Livi.” He sets the pictures and my panties on the bed before he turns to me. “I found your rings. The safe was much easier to crack.”
“Really?” He stands up, grabbing my hand and leads me out of the room towards an office. There’s a desk with quite a bit of clutter on top as well as his laptop. I make my way around the desk and gasp at the number of pictures of me that sit on his desk. “Clarke…” I rub my fingers over the frame of one of our wedding photos and the tears are back in full force. “You never forgot me,” I whisper.
“How could I forget you? You’re the other half of me.” He holds the familiar black box up and I purse my lips as I know what’s in it. I look towards the safe that he pulled them out of and I see there’s something else inside. I look at him curiously. “Can I see what’s in there?”
He nods, pulling the envelope out and handing it to me. My blood runs cold when I realize what it is and my lip trembles as I realize I’m holding Bennett’s Last Will and Testament that he’d updated after our separation according to the date listed at the top. I slide it back in the envelope when another envelope falls out. My name is written on top with black sharpie in his handwriting. I run my finger over the letters and I wonder if I shouldn’t read it. But maybe it would give me some insight, or maybe help him remember?
“Are you going to read it?” He’s right next to me, his voice low and gravelly in my ear.
“Should I?” I look up at him and he nods before taking a step back.
“I’ll give you some space,” he says before he heads out of the room, leaving the door open. I sit down in his chair, not prepared for a letter that Bennett would have meant for me to read after he passes, especially after we’d divorced. My heart thumps in my chest as I slide the handwritten note that is dated two months ago.
Livi,
If you’re reading this, that means I’m gone or I’m on life support and you’ve learned that you’re still my power of attorney. Assuming you still hate me, I’m sure you’ve already pulled the plug. Ha. Look at me, all funny in death.
I don’t know exactly where we stand as you’re reading this, but I’m assuming I would have drafted another will if I managed to get you back.
I’ve left you everything, which you know by now. And I’m sorry if I’ve preceded my mother in death that you’ll have to deal with her. But I wanted to make sure you were taken care of, and I knew you’d be fair in doling out everything. Or if you don’t want anything from me, feel free to give it all to her. I’m in sound mind, so there should be no worry about her contesting it, but if she does, my lawyer will handle it.
At this point in time, I have no intentions to remarry or have children, and again if you’re reading this, that means I never did. Marrying you is the one thing in this life I’ve been the most proud of. You’re the only person I’ve truly loved. And I could only see myself being married to you or fathering your children.
I can’t believe I let you go.
I know I’ve said it a million times while I’ve been alive, but maybe it means something in death. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry that I broke you. Broke us. I love you so much. Till death do us part, right?
I’m waiting for you on the other side. Maybe we can try this again in the afterlife?
Forever and ever,
Clarke
I can barely see through the tears that are streaming down my face, and a sob bubbles in my throat. I put a hand over my chest, my heart feeling like it could explode from his words.
Take him back, Olivia.
I grab the box he’d left sitting on the desk and open it, revealing the two stunning rings that used to sit proudly on my left ring finger. I hold them in my palm before balling my hand into a fist and almost running from the room. I move into the living room to see Bennett going through a box that he must have found in a closet. He stands up when he sees me enter the room and eats the space between us in three strides. I practically collide with his hard body as I wrap myself around him. He lifts me into his arms as if I weigh less than a feather. One hand slides under me to cup my butt and one hand goes to the back of my head, bringing his lips to mine. He brushes them gently, running his tongue over my lips before catching one of my salty tears cascading down my face. “Why are you crying?” He walks us to the couch and sits down, keeping me in his lap. He wipes under my eyes and kisses me again. “Talk to me.” I’m suddenly cold and a shiver moves through me as I’m very aware of the two rings in my hand.
I open my palm, revealing them and slide them into his hand without a word. He frowns, and I realize it’s because I haven’t explicitly said what I want. “Can I have them back?” I ask, thoug
h I already know the answer to my question.
“They haven’t belonged anywhere but your finger.”
I nod. “I want you to put them on me,” I tell him and he reaches for my left hand instantly, probably as desperate as I feel to have them back on. But I stop him. “I want to say something first.”
He leans forward rubbing his nose down my face and neck and pressing a kiss to my shoulder. “You can tell me anything.”
The smell of him and his sweatshirt I’m wearing is almost too much. I’ve always been able to get drunk on Bennett, quick, and I know I need a clear head to get this out, so I push him back slightly and move out of his lap to sit next to him on the couch. “Clarke, the day you came home and told me you’d slept with someone else…” He starts to speak up and I put a finger up. “Don’t.”
