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“Baby…”
“Bennett.” I get off the bed. “You wouldn’t. You couldn’t…not to me.”
“It was just one time, I swear. I was so drunk… sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
“Honestly, at that point I’m fairly certain I blacked out. Later, you told me I was almost inconsolable and our neighbor came over an hour later to ask if I was okay because I’d been sobbing for that long and that loudly.” I bite my bottom lip sadly and look over at Bennett who looks as torn up as I feel.
“Fuck.”
“So, you slept with her that night. I guess you’d met her at a bar. You told me you’d been drinking pretty heavily, and she approached you. I don’t exactly know what you told her, but I think she knew you were married and were having a rough time.” I let out a shaky breath. “The next day, I told you I wanted a divorce. You fought me hard for a few weeks. You wanted us to try and work it out, but I just…I couldn’t. I was hurt. I was broken. You devastated me. You’d always looked at me like I was the most perfect woman. You put me on this pedestal, and then to learn that you’d given something to someone else that was only meant for me…” I clear my throat as I remember the weeks of self-loathing that came with the knowledge of his infidelity. “Maybe I just needed space, and in hindsight, I can see that I acted impulsively.” I nod, before continuing.
“I loved you so much and so hard, I don’t know how I expected that love to just go away. I looked for you everywhere, in everything. I felt you in the most mundane day to day activities. I felt you when I touched myself at night. I was pretty sure that I was never going to get over you. And then this happens. I’m finding out these things about your life. You’re wearing your ring, and the letter you left me in your will. My panties and pictures are in your drawers. Wren tells me that you
r relationship with Amanda only went so far. And even in the past six months, the few times I did see you, I could see how sorry you were…in your eyes, in your body language. In the way you said my name, I could feel how much this hurt you.” I fidget nervously. “I could see how much you still loved me too.” I flinch. “The only thing I guess I’ll never know is why you fooled around with the girl you cheated on me with after the initial time. That fucking stung.”
“I’ll bet, and I have no idea,” he tells me. “Baby, I am so sorry.” The look in his eyes matches mine. Green eyes full of pain and sadness. “It sounds like it was a lapse in judgment, and after you left me, I just used her to fill the void. Or, I don’t know…I just needed someone there and she was convenient.” He stands up, setting my rings on the table in front of me. “Fuck, I need a drink.”
“Not with your medication.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” he says as he pulls some whiskey off the bar cart nestled in the side of the room. He pours two glasses of whiskey and hands one to me. I take a tentative sip, letting the amber liquid burn all the way down. He’s still not sitting down as he sips the liquor, his eyes getting angry. “I am so pissed.”
“Bennett…”
He puts a hand up and I can see the anger in his body language. His arms are flexing, he’s breathing hard and he’s pulling at his hair with the hand not holding his drink. He’s rolled his sleeves up, revealing his tattoos, and I’m instantly reminded of how easily I’m turned on the second I see my husband like this.
“Come sit down…” I pat the couch, wanting to calm him but also to sate him as soon as possible. “I told you this because I wanted you to know. I needed you to at least hear it even if you can’t remember. Even if you can’t feel the pain you felt, you need to know this if we’re going to have any shot at moving forward. I need you to know that I’m going to try everything to be open and honest with you. To not shut down on you when things get hard. I promise I’m not going to run, but I need you to promise not to run either. You can’t turn to someone else just because I can’t give you what you need.”
“You give me everything I need,” he tells me as he sits on the mahogany coffee table in front of me, squeezing my knee. “I love you.”
“You can’t do this to me again…”
“Never.” I bite my lip as I look at the two white gold rings sitting next to him one with a three carat diamond sitting in the center. He follows my gaze and sets his glass down and pulls mine from my hand. “I put these on, and they’re never coming off again.” His voice is full of conviction and I nod slowly. “You talk to me. Open up to me. We’re in this together, baby.”
“I know. Forever and ever,” I whisper and he smiles before he slides my wedding band on first, slowly, and then my engagement ring after. He presses his lips over them, kissing my ring finger followed by the other four causing a fire to flare between my legs.
I look down at the rings on my finger and then up at my husband and before I can think, our mouths have collided. “Oh God,” I moan as I’m in his arms and being carried to his bedroom. “Please fuck me, Clarke.” I’d sucked down a good bit of the whiskey, making me warm and horny. Bennett used to say whiskey made me more enthusiastic about his cock.
And I was already pretty in love with it.
“Fuck.” He growls in my ear and then I’m on my back and he’s on top of me. I want us naked, but I know that would require breaking our kiss, which I’m not interested in. The kiss is passionate and tastes like all of the good parts of our marriage. But it also tastes like I’m sorry and forgive me. Both of us feeding our apologies to the other for the things done in our marriage.
“I love you.” I moan and he pulls away from me, his green eyes bright and shimmering with love for me.
“That’s the first time you’ve said that,” he whispers.
I lick my swollen lips and bite my bottom lip gently as my eyes well up with tears, and I remember that it’s the first time I’ve said it in over six months. “I do, Clarke. So much.”
He yanks my sweatshirt off from over my head and pops the button on my jeans and slides them down my legs slowly, kissing every inch of skin as it’s exposed. “I’m never letting you go.”
“Please don’t,” I murmur as he pulls his jeans down. I undo my blouse, not wanting to waste another second before he’s inside of me and pull off my bra as well, leaving me in nothing but my panties. My breasts spring free and he licks his lips as he looks me over.
“Take off your panties.” His voice is strong and dominating and it makes my sex slick with arousal. I slide them down my legs and throw them at him and he catches them before bringing them to his nose. I watch in fascination as his tongue darts out, licking the wetness from my panties causing the fire congregating between my thighs to spread throughout my whole body. He tosses them over his shoulder after he’s done sucking my juices from the fabric before he grabs me by my ankle and pulls me down the bed.
He yanks his shirt off over his head and slides his boxers down his legs. His cock juts out hard and pointing right at me. “Touch yourself,” he tells me.
Frowning, I sit up on my elbows and look at his dick then my pussy, wondering why we’re doing anything other than fucking each other’s brains out. “You touch me.”
“I want you to touch your pretty clit until it’s nice and hot to the touch, tingling and waiting for me to kiss away the ache.” He rubs his hand through my sex, and I moan as he seems to be collecting my arousal. He rubs it on his bare cock and begins to stroke it slowly.
