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Count to ten.
Exhale.
I’d only cried a handful of times in my life. Losing my father, losing our babies, losing Olivia. All of it was associated with loss. But this is the first time I feel the tears building over something different.
Regaining my memories.
Memories I wanted to forget forever.
“Clarke?” I hear her voice through the door, soft and sensual and calling out to every part of me. I wipe my face and clear my throat.
I’m still madly in love with the woman on the other side of the door. I never stopped loving her. I never stopped wanting her. Losing my memory had granted us a second chance. Now that I have it back, now what?
No.
I’m not giving up our second chance.
I need to be certain that we can survive the truth.
“I’ll be out in a minute, baby,” I tell her as I turn on the water and splash it on my face. I cup my hands under the faucet and bring the water to my mouth to swish out the horrible taste of my memories. I open the medicine cabinet, looking for the Advil and take two before running a hand through my hair.
When I open the door she’s staring up at me the same way she used to, full of love and devotion and loyalty.
“Are you okay?” She puts her hand on my face and gives me a smile. “Come back to bed.”
I pick her up in my arms before she can take another step. She squeals as I carry her back to bed, depositing her on the plush bedding and hovering over her naked frame.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” I whisper as I stare down at her before peppering kisses across her stomach.
“Missed me? You were only gone a few minutes.” She giggles as she rubs a hand through my hair.
Get it the fuck together, Bennett.
“I hate being away from you at all. Ever,” I tell her. “Promise me, we’re done being apart.” I part her legs and kiss her inner thigh, just shy of her mound. “I can’t take being away from you.”
“I hated it too, Clarke.” She rubs her hand over my face and pulls my jaw up to look at her. “Every second we were apart felt like an eternity,” she whispers. I had fully planned on fucking her with my tongue, but I want to know more. I want to hear how much she missed me while we were apart now that I remember everything.
I have to know if she thought about me.
“Olivia.”
“Clarke.”
I pull away from that delicious space between her legs and I pull her into my lap. She wraps her legs around my waist making my cock jump between us as it’s dying to get inside of her. “Did you think about me when we were apart?”
“Yes,” she responds, her eyes staring into mine. I look away in fear that Olivia could see everything I’m trying to hide from her. She runs her hands up my body and cups my face making me look at her. I smile, thinking about how I thought about her every day.
Multiple times a day.
How there were days I couldn’t get out of bed. How Wren had to come check in every few days to make sure I had eaten and showered.
There were days I hadn’t done either.
“Did you miss me?” My mouth feels dry and it makes my voice hoarse.
“Yes,” she whispers and I want to kick myself for making Olivia open up and be vulnerable with me while I’m not being honest with her.
“I’m sure I missed you,” I tell her. “I misse
