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She nods and I put my arm around her and hug her.
“You should go to bed. It’s late.”
She kisses me on the cheek and begins to walk off, suddenly turning back. “Dad?”
I glance up. “Yes?”
“Brell loves you as much as I do, you know.”
I drop my head and exhale heavily.
“She’s special, Dad. Don’t let her walk away.”
I point to the stairs, and she smiles, quickly turning and disappearing out of sight.
Don’t let her walk away.
Too late. I already did.
Brielle
“Dad’s home!” Sammy calls from his place at the window.
I fake a smile and get up to collect my bag. I have to leave as soon as he walks in so that I don’t start blubbering like a baby and drop to my knees.
It’s been two weeks since I left.
Two weeks without him.
I’ve moved into Emerson’s old apartment with Hank and his flatmate. I even went out at the weekend. I had a shitty time and came home early, but hey… at least I tried.
Julian comes through the front door. His eyes find me across the room and I frown and snap mine away. I can’t even make eye contact with him without getting tears in my eyes.
We haven’t said one word to each other since I left. Not one that isn’t about the children, anyway. Looking back I have to wonder if he ever really loved me.
He doesn’t seem affected at all. …I’m over here dying of a broken heart, and gasping for air, and he’s looking like he just stepped out of a Vogue modelling shoot.
He’s unaffected and totally in control.
My mind has started playing fucked-up games on me. Has he gone back to the brothel? The high-class hookers. His therapist—the one who sucks his dick without questions.
I’m going crazy. Today I even counted the condoms in his bathroom cabinet, just so I know if and how often he’s had sex.
Why am I doing this to myself?
I need to leave, but I just can't. As soon as I'm stronger I will. I promise I will.
I hug Willow and kiss her forehead. Then I kiss Sammy before I turn to Julian.
“See you tomorrow.”
He nods and rolls his lips. It’s like we don’t even know each other anymore.
Maybe we never did.
Julian
ALINA MASTERS
