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“Definitely not. I don’t think it’s at all humorous that a cat attacks a man’s dick while he sleeps.”
I burst out laughing again. “I’m so training it to do that to you.”
“Jesus Christ, Brielle.”
“All is good here, no need to worry.” I smile.
“Miss Brielle,” he sighs. “Please put the children to bed now. Enough with the stupid cats.”
I roll my eyes to the kids, and they both grin back at me.
“Okay, fun cop. Roger that. Say goodbye to Dad, kids,” I call.
“Goodbye, Dad,” the kids cry in unison, just as a cat jumps on a dog’s back. The dog takes off at full speed, while the cat hangs onto its back for dear life.
The kids all squeal again, and I hang up just before I burst out laughing.
We are so getting a cat.
It’s Thursday afternoon, and Sam and I are waiting for Willow outside her school. I have a surprise for her and I’m excited to share.
She walks up and gets into the car.
“Hi.” I smile.
“Hey,” she mutters as she does her seatbelt up.
I pull out into the traffic, and my eyes flicker to her in the rearview mirror.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“Don’t tell me. You’re really a YouTube cat and not really a nanny?” she offers sarcastically.
“Meow,” I tease.
“Oh, God.” She winces. “Please, stop.”
I smile as I drive, and Sammy giggles. “I have two surprises for you, actually.”
“Yeah, what’re they?” She sighs, uninterested. “I thought you two could help me cook tonight.”
She frowns. “What for?”
“I gave Janine the night off.”
“Why?”
“So I could teach you how to make pasta.”
She screws up her face. “Is that my surprise? Sounds more like a punishment.”
“Well, I thought you could learn how to make fresh pasta, and then on Sunday night you could make dinner for your father, all by yourself.”
I watch her in the mirror as her eyes rise to meet mine, her interest sparked.
“Your father loved that pasta so much the other night, and imagine how surprised he will be if you know how to make it yourself.”
She bites her bottom lip as she contemplates the idea. “What’s the second surprise?”
