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My alcohol high instantly dissipates. “Why is that?”
“Well,” He pauses as he gets the wording right in his head. “At the time, I demanded that Robert follow me to San Francisco. I had it in my head that if he loved me, he would follow me anywhere.”
“And he didn’t?” I have always known this story but haven’t paid it much attention before, now I need all the details.
“No.” He sips his drink. “At the time, I saw it that he wasn’t committed to me so I broke up with him.”
“But now?”
“Well, now I realize that he wasn’t ready to make that commitment to anyone. I asked him to leave all of his family and friends to be with me. He was too young.” He shrugs, as if ashamed. “I should have given him time and space. He would have come eventually. Things that are meant to be will always return.”
I stare at him as fear rolls through me like a tsunami.
“Nathan.” I frown. “Are you still in love with Robert?”
“No.” He shakes his head as if the thought is preposterous. “God, no, but as I’ve gotten older, and since being with you, I now know that I was very selfish back then. I put my needs before his, and that wasn’t fair.” He thinks on it for a moment. “It’s not something I’m proud of, that’s for sure.”
I stare at him, my mind a jumble.
“So, yeah.” He shrugs. “Breaking someone’s heart out of selfishness is my biggest regret.”
“Wow.” I sip my drink. “Well, I guess that settles it.”
“Settles what?”
“You just completely flunked the questions. Biggest regret in your life is leaving your ex. Red flag, Nathan,” I reply flatly. “Motherfucking red flag. I’m drinking this entire jug of sangria and eating my meal, and then I’m pretending to go to the bathroom and never coming back,” I reply as I try to act serious. “It was nice knowing you.”
He throws his head back and laughs. It’s deep, rich, and does things to my insides. “I’m talking about my behaviour. Not losing Robert… that came out wrong. I’m disappointed in myself, not with the outcome.” He reaches over and takes my hand. “Do I get to ask any questions?”
“Fire away. I’m completely at ease with my questions now that I know how badly you fucked up yours.”
He chuckles. “And so you should be.” He stares at me for a moment as he thinks and finally he responds. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
“That’s it? That’s your million-dollar question?” I laugh. “You’re ridiculous, Mercer.”
“What? It’s a good question.” He laughs back. Boy, these Sangrias are going straight to our head. “I’m serious. ” He splutters. “Answer it.”
“Well.” I smile goofily. “I would like to be happily married, with one child and another on the way.”
He stares at me and blinks slowly, as if he’s processing my words.
A weird thought comes over me. We’ve never actually discussed this before. “Do you want children, Nathan?”
“Umm.” He pauses. “I’ve never really thought about it.” His brow furrows, as if contemplating it and then he gives me a soft smile with a shrug. “I guess with you by my side…, anything is possible.”
My heart swells.
“Is that your attempt for brownie points after your abysmal last answer?” I ask.
“One hundred percent.”
We burst out laughing, and he holds up the jug of sangria. “Another?”
“Yes, please.”
Five hours later, the moon is dancing over the water as we walk hand in hand along the boardwalk on the beach. We’re on our way back to our hotel. We’ve had a great time, eaten wonderful food, and had lots of laughs. Gone is the awkwardness of last night where we felt we just needed to get through it. Tonight is different. It’s as if we are unable to waste a single moment of our time together. Every conversation, every topic, every laugh seems special.
“I had a wonderful first date,” I tell him.
