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He shrugs. “It can. They fall in love with a woman for a period of time, five or ten years, have their family, and then… Well, then they return to their old life. I’m not saying that’s what has happened between you two, but he probably wouldn’t be aware of it even if it has.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s intrinsic to want to procreate. It’s primal, buried deep within our DNA. Especially for a man as dominant as Nathan. His body would be seeking out a female and he wouldn’t even know why.”
I stare at him as I begin to hear my heartbeat in my ears.
“Are you attracted to women?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says softly. “And to be honest, I’ll probably love a woman one day.
“So that you can have a family?”
“Yes.” He nods. “Children are the greatest gift, and it is something that I will explore when the time is right. You never know, she may be my soulmate. That would be wonderful.” He smiles. “I believe that you and Nathan will work out. You’re so lovely and beautiful. I see exactly what he sees in you.”
I smile sadly. “Thanks for being so honest. I appreciate it.”
His eyes hold mine. “I hope I didn’t upset you.”
“Not at all,” I lie. “You just opened my eyes.”
20
Eliza
The drone of the plane hums through the cabin. I stare out of the window, miles away.
I learned a lot today about life… about myself.
Zavier’s words run through my mind. His body would be seeking out a female and he wouldn’t even know why.
The thought is depressing, but if I’m being completely honest with myself, it does make a lot of sense.
I think back to when this all began and how shocked Nathan was that he was physically attracted to me. It hit him like a ton of bricks.
Nobody was expecting it. Least of all me.
I mean, there’s no denying that he loves me. I know that, and physically, we are so good together… but is his body just longing for a uterus to impregnate?
Someone it can trust to bear his fruit?
Is that why he suddenly wanted me physically?
I close my eyes and put my head back onto the seat as I go over the facts of what I do know.
He never got over his first love.
I think about that for a while and what he has told me over the years about Robert and their time together. It’s no secret that Robert has been the biggest influence in Nathan’s life. His words from our first night in Majorca come back to me.
My biggest regret is leaving Robert.
Ten years later, and the biggest regret in Nathan’s life is leaving Robert.
Wow.
Not wishing that he professed his love to me earlier. Not going to Stephanie and giving her what should have been mine. Nothing about us or me at all.
His biggest regret was leaving Robert. His first love.
