Page 219 of Our Way


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Tied to Eliza.

Not I love Eliza. Not I want Eliza. I’m tied to Eliza.

The baby.

He’s tied to me because of the baby. Emotion overwhelms me, and I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to hear this. I feel the need to protect myself take over. I walk out of the kitchen and into the living area.

“Eliza!” Nathan yells. “Don’t you fucking leave!”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I fire back. Fuck you. I want to be anywhere but here, listening to this.

“Get out!” Nathan yells. “Leave now, Robert.”

“You’ve been begging me to come back to you for years,” Robert cries. “I know you still love me, Nathan. It’s not too late for us.”

Horror dawns. What?

Nathan’s been begging for Robert to come back to him for years?

My eyes well with tears.

“Get out!” Nathan cries. His voice cracks, betraying his hurt, and I screw my face up in pain.

He does still love him. I can hear it in his voice.

“Please,” Robert begs, and I can tell by his voice that he’s becoming upset.

“Don’t touch me,” Nathan whispers angrily, and I know that Robert has reached for him.

I close my eyes. I can feel Robert’s pain.

“Don’t come near Eliza again,” Nathan whispers. “You wait until I’m finally happy and you think that you can show up here and upset her?”

“I’m not trying to upset her,” Robert cries.

“Well, you are.” Nathan yells. “And you’ve upset me. Get the hell out of my life, Robert. You’ve fucked me up for too long.”

Oh God. This is bad. This is really bad.

Nathan never got over him. A piece of the puzzle clicks into place.

This is why he has never had another relationship. I close my eyes as I listen.

They fall silent.

What’s happening?

“Please…” Nathan whispers as if pained. “Just go. Leave me be.”

“I love you.”

“Go!” Nathan bellows as he loses all control.

I screw up my face to stop myself from sobbing out loud, I drop my head into my hands.

“I said go!” Nathan yells.

“No!” I hear Robert cry, as if they’re in a scuffle. “Don’t do this.”

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