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And that’s not the half of it, I think to myself. Throw in sexuality questions, an ex, and an unplanned pregnancy… fuck, it’s no wonder we’re fighting all the time. “I guess.” I smile.
“Can I ask you something?” He says as he wipes his mouth with his napkin.
“Yeah.”
“If you had met me in a different circumstance and you weren’t with the guard dog…”
I smirk, already knowing what he’s going to say.
“Would you have gone out with me?”
I dig through my food with my chopsticks. “Yeah.” I smile. “I would have. You’re cute in a weird kind of way.”
His eyes hold mine. “Well, fuck.” He raises his glass and takes a sip. “Here’s to the worst timing ever.”
I giggle. I really do like Henry, and I know I need to be honest. “I have a confession.”
“You’re going to leave him for me?” he teases with a wink.
I laugh. “No… but I am maybe leaving work.”
His face falls. “Oh no, why?”
“I’m just not loving it. I’m sorry.”
“Is it something I can fix?”
“I’m missing nursing, the buzz of the hospital, and I haven’t decided anything yet, but I just wanted you to know in case I do decide.”
He smiles sadly. “Well, that blows but I completely understand. Thanks for being honest.”
We eat in silence for a while.
“What are you going to do about the boyfriend?”
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “Hopefully, work it out.” I sip my drink. “Your idea about space from each other makes a lot of sense.”
“You never know. It may very well work.”
I smile, grateful for the chat. “Thanks, Henry.” I wish I could blurt out all my issues, but I can’t.
These are mine and Nathan’s problems, and only we can fix them.
And we will…
I hope.
* * *
I sit at the dining table and listen to the clock ticking on the wall. I haven’t had the guts to do the pregnancy test alone. Nathan will be home soon. I texted him an hour and a half ago, and he said he had just finished surgery and would be home about now.
I never thought I’d see the day where waiting for Nathan made me nervous. But he’s acting different. He isn’t texting me. He isn’t looking after me. He isn’t being my Nathan.
I frown at the notion. Was he ever my Nathan, or was he just on loan?
We need to talk. God, we need to talk, and I know he’s still angry about what Jolie said to him the other night, but he’s locked me out.
He’s cold and detached.
