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“Natasha, my dear girl. Look at you. You’re so thin.” I smile and nod and gesture for her to sit. She shakes her head and continues standing. She’s nervous and she has a good reason, I have absolutely no patience for this bitch anymore.
“Excuse me for intruding but I need to tell you something. Something that involves you and Joshua.”
I roll my eyes. “Margaret, your boy is safe. I won’t go near him again.”
She tears up again. “Please don’t say that. He loves you, Natasha. With all of his heart.”
The nasty caustic tears start to burn as they run down my face.
“And I love him, but I will respect my father’s last wish.” I stare deadpan at her. I have nothing left. She puts her head into her hands.
“You and Joshua are not genetically related.”
I frown. “What do you mean?” I ask.
“I had an affair and Joshua is another man’s child. He doesn’t know of course.” I step back from her in shock. Oh my god.
I drop into my seat.
“Joshua and I are not cousins,” I repeat and she nods. Horror again.
“JOSHUA AND I ARE NOT COUSINS!” I scream again. She nods and starts to cry uncontrollably.
“I’m so sorry. If I told you my life would be in danger. But I fear Joshua’s life is more in danger. You must go to him, Natasha. I have never seen him like this—he is not coping. He hasn’t been to work for a month.” I stand still, rooted to the spot, shock coursing through my body.
“So you knew all along how in love we were and you kept us apart!” I scream. She cries into her hands and nods. I scratch my head and start to pace.
“You said Joshua doesn’t know. Why are you telling me?” I ask.
“Because I know that it is the only thing keeping you apart. Now that your father has passed your father would know the truth, Natasha. He knows now you are not related and he would give you his blessing.” I step back in shock wide–eyed as I sum up the words just spoken. I lunge forward and slap her hard across the face.
“Murderer,” I scream. “You killed him with your lies… I fucking hate you. Get the hell out of my sight.”
Cabin crew cross check. I am on a flight to LA with Max. Joshua left him behind to watch over me. I stare out the window as adrenaline courses through my body. It’s hard to sit still. Hold on baby…I will be there soon. I sit back in my chair and for the first time in eight weeks I smile and I have hope in my heart. I’m coming my love…I’m coming.
Katy Perry’s voice rings out to her track ‘Dark Horse’. I am in bed watching Tash in the movie I made of the two of us. I have had it on repeat since I got home on Friday…it’s now Sunday. I have a drink in my hand and a tray on my side table. I know every ripple of her muscles. I hear every sigh that she makes and every smile, complete with her beautiful dimples. I watch the back angle as her perfect body takes mine again and again. I sit forward each time she whispers the words ‘I love you’ to the camera and my heart breaks just that little bit more.
I’m low…I’ve never been so low.
I can’t seem to snap out of it. The guilt is eating me alive. I blow out a breath as I lean my head back against the headboard. She is supposed to be in this bed with me, curled around me. Starting our life together.
I have had too much…I know that. I just needed a little something to give me a lift. It’s just not fucking working. I go to reach for my Cointreau and my arm doesn’t move. What the fuck. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and I fall.
Shit, what’s happening?
The room starts to spin and my body starts to convulse.
Oh fuck. What have I done? I go to call out but my mouth doesn’t open.
I hear Adrian’s voice scream out.
“Joshua, dear god. HELP…HELP…BEN. Jesus, what the hell are you watching? Turn off the fucking television.“
“Call an ambulance… He’s taken an overdose.”
“Joshua, hold on baby. It will be ok.”
“NOOOOOO. Dear god, no.”
