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His eyes roll back in his head and he groans from his stomach as he comes in a rush into my hand. I smile a triumphant smile into our kiss, that’s it, that’s it. I keep gently stroking him to empty him completely as he kisses me tenderly. He rests his head into the crook of my neck as he breathes heavily, and I can feel his heart beating hard in his chest.
He lifts his head and looks at me and I smile. He kisses me again as he pushes the hair back from my face. His hands drop down my body. “Your turn,” he whispers.
I shake my head and pull back from his grip as I continue kissing him.
“This isn’t about turns, Josh,” I murmur through the kisses.
“What’s it about?” he frowns.
“Love,” I smile as I kiss him again. “This is about love.”
He smiles into my neck and cuddles me tightly.
“Remind me to comfort you from your nightmares more often,” he murmurs into my neck.
I laugh and shake my head as I open the shower door. “Get to bed, sex maniac.”
He smiles and smacks me hard on the ass as he brushes past me. “You know it, baby.”
Deja vu … Why, oh why, is it coming back to haunt me? I wish I was having it about Joshua telling me he loved me. But no, I am having it because I woke alone this morning. No note, no kiss, no goodbye. Just a memory of some intermittent tenderness last night … or did I dream that too? I am sitting in the cafeteria at the hospital where I work—it’s lunch time. My phone beeps a message and I look at the screen in hope. Jes—my heart drops.
Hi Doc
Can we have dinner tonight?
I frown. I do not want to have dinner with you, Jes; I want to have dinner with Joshua. I type him a message.
Sorry, I can’t.
My gran is sick and I am tied up at the moment.
I will call you in a few weeks.
A reply bounces back.
When?
I miss you.
I haven’t seen you for two weeks.
My stomach drops—he shouldn’t be missing me. We are just friends. I smile and text him back.
Ring up short and slutty Barbie.
Take her for dinner.
Unlike me, she will repay you with a head job.
I smile as I imagine him reading it. A message bounces back.
You drive a hard bargain.
X
Call me.
I laugh and drink my coffee. He really is gorgeous. Jes and I have become friends and, unlike the relationship between Joshua and me, it is just so uncomplicated. I don’t care if he sleeps with anyone else, I don’t want to go out with him, but I have an underlying affection for him. It’s strange. I have never had it before with any other male. Either I wanted them or I didn’t, but with Jes it’s different. He makes me understand Abbie in a way I never have before. She has a deep affection for the men she dates but she is not in love with any of them, yet she cares for them and she has sex with them. Until I met Jesten I could never understand that, but now I think I do. He makes me laugh and he calls me every couple of days, either with a dirty joke or to arrange coffee or something and, if he doesn’t call me, I do notice it … but it doesn’t bother me, weird.
