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“From where?” he snaps again.
I shake my head in frustration. “From you know where.”
“Where?”
“Where girls bleed from.”
“Oh Jesus,” he groans. “She has her period, Stan, that’s all.”
“What do I do?” I shriek.
“She will have some stuff in her bathroom. All girls do, just follow the directions on the pack.”
My eyes widen as I walk to the bathroom and start rattling through her cupboards and drawers.
“What does it look like?” I ask Cameron.
“What does what look like?” he snaps.
“Whatever this girl shit is!”
He laughs down the phone. “You’re such a dumb fuck. Do you want me to come over and sort her out?”
My eyes widen in horror. “No, I do not. I can look after my girlfriend just fine thank you.” He is not laying a finger on her.
“Whatever.” He sighs. “Call me if you need help.” He hangs up.
I rat through the cupboards and find one pad, no packet. Oh, this is just great.
I walk back to the wardrobe with the pad and start looking for more things. Surely she has more packets somewhere. I look through her handbags and find a few tampons. I hold one up to look at it and narrow my eyes … hmm. This is weird shit.
After cleaning Tash up, I go back to the wardrobe to start searching for more packets. How many will I need? Why isn’t she more organised? This is so typical Natasha. In the bottom of her wardrobe I find a couple of shoeboxes stacked on top of each other and I open the top one. I frown. It’s full of books. Small leatherbound books. I open one. It’s a diary. I rat through the other boxes, these are all diaries and she has kept every one. Twelve, there are twelve diaries here. My eyes widen at my find, but I have more pressing issues at the moment … like where do I get more pads? I am going to have to go to the shop myself. She wouldn’t want me to send my staff. Where do you even buy this stuff? I take out my phone and call Cameron again.
“Hey,” he answers.
“Where do I get this stuff?” I ask in a rush.
“Huh, what stuff?”
“Girl’s stuff you idiot, what do you think I mean?”
He laughs. “The pharmacy, fuckwit.”
I nod. “Hmm, makes sense. Right.” I hang up and call Max.
“Max, I have to go out for ten minutes. Can you come and sit in the lounge room and watch Tash for me?”
“Yeah sure, I will be right up.”
Fifteen minutes later I am in a pharmacy, walking up and down the aisles looking for the relevant section. My guards are waiting out the front on my instruction. I finally find what I am looking for and my eyes flick over the shelves, hmm. What size? I frown as I look at the large selection of tampons and I rub my chin: mini, regular, super … mini … she would be mini … she’s definitely not super. I grab a basket and ten packets of mini tampons. Now pads. My eyes flick over the packets, wings … wings … what the fuck is that? Night-time, what’s the difference between day and night? I frown and rub my head in frustration. Maternity, I thought women didn’t get their period when they are pregnant. Seriously I should have listened in school at those sex education classes. I end up grabbing one of each packet and head to the cashier with my hands and basket full.
There are two young girls on the counter and their eyes flick to each other as I unload my shopping basket. This is embarrassing.
The girl on the checkout smiles. “How many girlfriends do you have?”
I smile in embarrassment. “Just one.”
The both smile broadly at me and I squirm uncomfortably. “Overkill?” I smirk.
