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I go to the fridge and get out the platter that was obviously prepared by the cook for us earlier and head back to our room while smiling like an idiot. I leave all of the lights on. Stuff it, it’s not like Joshua can’t afford the power bill. This place is frigging scary. I turn back and look at the knife on the bench and go back and pick it up. I’m just going to keep this hidden in our room… just in case. I should probably learn how to use the damn thing. I get halfway up the hall and once again start to run. This place frigging freaks me out. At this moment I am missing my little apartment that would fit into Joshua’s bedroom alone. I make it, close the door behind me and lean on it in relief with my heart beating furiously. Instant silence and calm again in my love bubble with my man asleep like a baby. I put the food on the ottoman in front of the fire and go and sit next to Joshua on the bed. He’s in his deep sleeping position. I smile. Do all men sleep with their hand on their dick? Carbon copies—actually that’s not true. In fact, it couldn’t be further from the truth. My last two boyfriends openly loved me from the very beginning, did everything in their power to try and get me to love them back, and yet this man is the ultimate onion. I have had to peel him back, layer upon layer, even to get acknowledgement that he wanted to spend time with me. From the beginning the sexual attraction has been undeniable and so damn hot that my body never had a chance of refusing it… not that my heart would have let me. Unlike my feelings for the other men in my past, I need intimacy from Joshua, crave it. Just like I crave the animal inside him whose only goal is to fuck hard and mate, damn the consequences. He will take what he wants from my body, when he wants it and I love it.
I hold my hand up and look at my ring and I smile as a deep wave of gratitude flows over me. He loves me—he loves me with the same intensity that he resisted me. All-consuming passion that every woman should feel at least once in a lifetime. For a lifetime. I bend and gently kiss his cheek and run my hand gently over his short dark hair, over his chest and down through his dark pubic hair and then over his thigh. He told me tonight in the bath that he couldn’t stand being away from me for a night. I smile again. I can’t stand being away from him at all. I know that will wear off and we will slip into comfortableness like everyone does. But I think because the fight has been so hard, the prize is that much sweeter and that much more valuable, to both of us.
I walk over to the ottoman, pick up the cheese platter and go and sit on the window seat and look out into the darkness. I sit for ten minutes eating cheese like a mouse in silence and am interrupted from my calm when the dog starts to bark downstairs. I don’t think anyone could see me where I am sitting in the semi-darkness but I’m not sure. So I get up and grab my phone and turn the lamp off next to the bed and go back to the seat and sit in the darkness. What’s out there? The dog goes off again and I know it’s an intruder warning bark. I see the dog trot around the side of the building downstairs and I watch in silence… and then I see it. A red glow of a cigarette as it gets inhaled at the side of the outhouse down the back. I see it go up and glow red as it is inhaled and then go back down in between puffs. I frown. Ben said they were in the office in the garage at the front of the house. Why would they walk around to the backyard and behind the outhouse to smoke? That’s weird. Should I go and check that it’s them? Stop being stupid Natasha! I shake my head in disgust at myself and go and crawl into bed next to Joshua. If there was someone down there, the bloody guards would know about it. What an idiot I am, talk about drama queen. I’m even imagining things now.
My sleepy eyes open to silence. Where’s Joshua? It’s daylight but very early, maybe 5 or 6. I roll over and my eyes go to the side table where there is a note:
Presh
Gone for a ride
Won’t be long.
I smile. My boy is doing what he loves. I slowly hop up and go to the window and sit on the thick padded window seat, my new favourite place, and stare out over the green paddocks. A sense of calm comes over me. This is what he loves about it here, the stillness. He has never had the LA party life here in Willowvale. His fake friends don’t come here. There are no cameras, no excuses… no lies. I make an internal decision. If Joshua wants to relax here then the very least I can do is learn to love it as much as him. I shower and dress in my favourite faded tight jeans with a chunky cream knitted jumper and my runners and I head downstairs. I walk out the back door and look around. Where is this guard office thingy? I walk around the side and up onto the asphalt driveway and see a door at the back of the garage and tentatively walk up to it.
The door is open and two men are inside. “Hello.” I wave meekly as my eyes flick around the space. A large office with a kitchen, dining table and chairs, lounge and television and a very large selection of guns hanging on the wall. I frown. Hell, why do they need all these guns?
“Hello, Natasha,” the two men reply.
I smile nervously as my eyes stay glued on the guns on the wall. “Thanks for watching us last night.” My eyes flick back to the men.
“No, we have just taken over. The night-shift pair finished at 7 am.”
“Oh.” I nod. “Will they be back tonight?”
“Yep,” one of the men replies. “They will be back at ten.”
“Ah, ok,” I answer. “Have.” I frown as I feel stupid asking the next question.
“Do they smoke?” I ask.
They frown and exchange looks. “No,” one of them replies. “Why?”
I narrow my eyes as I think. “Last night someone was smoking outside my window and the dog was barking. I just wanted to check it was them.”
The older man smiles. “One of them must have taken it up. They would have checked why the dog was barking. It’s fine. Don’t worry.”
I smile in relief. “Which stables is Joshua at?”
“He’s in the east stables. Would you like me to drive you there?”
I bite my lip. “Is it far away?”
“No, about five hundred metres down the hill to the east.” He points down a dirt lane and I look in that direction.
“I might just take a walk down there.” I smile as I shield my face from the sun.
“Ok, we will watch you but call us if you need anything,” he replies.
I nod and head off in search of the stables. Ten minutes later I am regretting declining the lift as it is a long way down the hill and to the left. In a paddock I catch sight of Joshua riding his huge black horse. I smile and then I frown as I watch him. Is he trying to kill it? I have never seen someone ride a horse so fast, like sprinting, and then he keeps pulling it back and changing direction. They then run full pelt in the new direction until changing direction again. What the hell is he doing? I would definitely buck him off if I was that poor horse. This is why I don’t ride horses—you never know who has tortured it before you get on and what score they want to settle with the human race. I continue walking to the stables as I watch him give it to this horse. He hasn’t seen me. He slo
ws and I can hear his voice cajoling the huge beast.
“Whoa Jasper, whoa Jasper,” he coos.
I smile, this is his beloved Jasper.
He slowly gets down and fiddles with the bridle and Jasper puts his head affectionately into Joshua’s chest and butts him. He smiles and slaps it hard on the front forequarter. They are both breathing heavily, and both absolutely wet with perspiration. Yep, he’s totally trying to kill the horse. Not everyone likes to train like a madman, Joshua. He looks up and sees me and breaks into a breathtaking smile which I return. They walk over to me and he kisses me gently.
