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Everyone stands around defiantly as if expecting this and I storm into the house alone, slamming the door behind me.
I look around at the huge clean space and my chest starts to contract. I feel like I can’t breathe. I run to the stairs and take them two at a time until I get to our bedroom.
Instantly a calmness comes over me and I sit quietly on the bed with my heart beating heavily in my chest. I can feel her presence here. For the first time in two weeks I can feel her with me and it’s strangely comforting. I look over to the side table and through bleary eyes I see her diary with her opened glasses sitting on top of it. I pick them up and hold them to my chest and, as if on autopilot, I open the diary and start to read.
Dear Diary
Today I bought my wedding dress. The dress I have wanted to wear for eight years.
I’m so excited, I’m so happy, I’m so in love.
Mum will be here soon and I can’t wait to see her and show her Willowvale. Joshua said we can build her a house there. I desperately hope she wants to live there with us. I can’t wait to see Josh’s face when I tell him I want to move to his dream house and live his dream life.
I love it there too.
I close the diary and hold it to my chest and somehow feel comforted and grateful knowing that she was happy and loved in the last five months of her life.
She showed me a love like nothing I have ever known… and now I am facing a loss like I have never known and I don’t know if I can go on.
I curl up into a ball on our bed clutching her diary and glasses. Help me, Tash. Help me get through this.
Adrian
My phone rings and I glance down at the caller. Nicholas. My heart drops. I haven’t thought of him since Natasha died a month ago.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Hey… you ok?” his velvety voice whispers down the phone.
My eyes close and I feel a lump in my throat form and I shake my head.
“Has there been any word?” he replies quietly.
“No,” I push out. “How did you hear?”
“It’s world news, Adrian. Are you ok?” he repeats.
My heart drops. Of course it’s world news. “Yes,” I whisper, but in all honesty I’m just not. I don’t know how to help Joshua or handle the press on this situation. I’m getting swamped by both clients and investors. It’s a nightmare on all fronts.
“How is Joshua?” he asks.
I shake my head and walk to the window. “Bad.”
“Is he talking?”
“No,” I murmur.
“And Cameron and everyone else?”
I close my eyes again. “It’s bad Nick. Everyone’s fucked up.”
He stays silent as he thinks. “I’m coming over to look after you for a while.”
I stay silent. God, I want that.
“I can spend some time with Joshua and give him some treatment without him knowing,” he replies.
I frown. That actually makes sense. “Are you busy at the moment?” I ask.
