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I stay seated as I frown. Nobody’s seen me before so that means that here is the only monitor. I start to hear my heartbeat in my ears and I subtly put my hooks onto the carpet and stand slowly and walk out into the room. The young boy leaves the room and shuts the door behind him. Refusing to look at the camera, I sit on the bed and wring my hands nervously in front of me. What are they looking at? Are they checking that I’m going insane? Because I fucking am, and their plan is working perfectly. Act normal, act normal, I remind myself. I get into bed, turn my back to the camera and hold my breath as I try to calm myself down and after what seems like about an hour I hear the other car leave and the light in my room turns off. I get up and put my hands and forehead on the back of the door as I think in the darkness. I need to be home before my wedding in three days. Think. How am I getting out of here?
“Listen Dad, I don’t know what the fuck you are doing up there. But I need help,” I whisper angrily.
I shake my head in anger. Is there even a heaven? Is that a load of shit too? If he could help me I know he would. He would have got me out of here by now, and he would have told me what to do. I turn around and lean my back on the door and slide down into a sitting position against the door. I’m going to get home to Joshua and I’m going to wear my wedding dress on Saturday. But how? The moonlight shines through the window and under the bottom of the curtain I see something glimmer in the light. I frown. What’s that?
I crawl over on my hands and knees and pull back the curtain to reveal a large sliver of the thick glass from the water jug I threw at the back of the door. I must have missed it when I picked it up. It is about four or five centimetres wide and about twenty centimetres long. I run my finger along the edge of it in the darkness… razor sharp.
I sit in the darkness as my mind goes into overdrive.
I have my weapon.
Chapter 27
I stand in the bathroom with the glass in my hand as I wrap a sock around the base of it so I don’t cut myself. I’ve thrown up three times this morning already with nerves and m
y leg is bouncing uncontrollably. Breakfast will be here in fifteen minutes and I’m going to do it. I don’t know what I’m going to do… but I’m going to do something violent and someone is probably going to die… hopefully not me. They have pushed me to the point of no return. “I’m sorry but you have forced me to hurt you,” I whisper to my reflection in the mirror to try and justify what I am about to do. I’m going for Carl. I don’t care if I kill him but I know I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt the boy. He’s just a kid trying to get himself through med school. But the downside of my plan is that Carl is bigger and more dangerous and way more fucking scary. Oh my god, oh my god. I put the glass knife on the basin and put my hands over my face. Am I really going to stab someone with that? I walk back to the wardrobe and put on another cardigan. I am wearing sweatpants, three pairs of bed socks, a T-shirt and three cardigans. It’s going to be cold if I do get away. Shit. I start to pace. Should I stay in the bedroom? No, I need to run out from the bathroom and take him by surprise. I look at my reflection in the mirror. “You can do this,” I whisper. “You can do this.” I slowly pick up the glass knife and wrap my hand around the base and I swing it through the air as I practise. No, it needs to be harder. Shit. I bring it up over my head and with all my strength I stab it down through the air. Fuck, this is a nightmare. With my heart beating hard in my chest I open the bathroom door with the knife in my hand and I wait.
On cue the bedroom door opens and Carl walks in carrying the tray of food and I screw up my face in tears and run at him with my hand over my head. I bring the knife down hard into his neck and he screams in pain. Oh my god, I scream as blood starts to spurt from his wound and I put my hand over my mouth. He staggers back and falls and his head hits the bedpost and he is knocked unconscious. I put my hands over my mouth in shock. He lies still and silent with blood coming from the wound. I need to tie him up. I run back to the wardrobe and grab the belt from one of the cardigans and pull his hands behind his back and tie them together. Is he dead? I screw up my face as nervous energy runs through me. Run. Run. Run. With my heart racing I jump over his slumped body, out the door and lock it behind me. I race down the stairs two at a time to the front door and I grab the handle and frantically rattle it. Fuck, it’s locked. My eyes dart around and I run to the back door, which thankfully is open. I run out onto the deck and into the sunshine.
My eyes fly around my surroundings. Forest on one side and paddocks on the other. Which way, which way? The forest. I sprint as fast as I can towards the forest. Oh my god, I killed him, he’s dying. He is dying. My mind flicks to Joshua and the fact that it’s going to be him dying or Carl and I screw up my face and run faster. I need to get out of here. I get to a barbed wire fence and bend to get through it and keep running towards the trees. I am desperately out of breath. Keep going I chastise myself, keep going. The landscape is rugged and I am treading on rocks and my feet are hurting but I keep pushing. Get to the trees, get to the trees. I cry to myself as I run and finally, after what seems forever, I make it. I run into the shrubbery and under the veil of protection and I fall to the ground in exhaustion as I gasp for air. Which way? My eyes search my surroundings. On one side of me a hill inclines up and it seems to be bushland and the other way goes down a hill but seems much more rugged terrain. Up, I will go up the hill. I look down at my feet. Fuck, I wish I had some shoes. On getting my breath back I stand and start to run and the sticks break under my feet. Oww, my feet. Shit, I’m an idiot. I should have grabbed Carl’s shoes. Who am I kidding? I wouldn’t steal a person’s shoes that I had just stabbed. I put my hands on my head in disbelief. I just stabbed someone in the neck. What the fucking hell has my life turned into? If Carl hasn’t died he is either ringing for backup right now or bleeding to death but if he has died it’s going to be eleven and a half hours until the boy gets back. I need to get the hell out of here and with renewed purpose I pick up the pace. I keep running through the bush as I try to negotiate the terrain with my feet looking for the best places to stand. Why didn’t I run on that damn treadmill? I should be fit but no I have the aerobic fitness level of a ninety-year-old. This gasping for breath is not helping my escape at all.
Exhaustion doesn’t come close to what I’m feeling. It’s late afternoon and I’ve been walking for hours. I can’t physically run anymore. It will be dark in about two hours judging by the sun and I am staying on the edge of the forest that follows the road as I don’t want to get lost. I turn and look back the way I have come. God, am I even going the right way? I do seem to have come a long distance but what happens if the closest house is like eighty miles from anywhere. Shit. Just keep going, or the mind will hold you back. Stop thinking I remind myself. I won’t be able to see when night falls so I will have to find somewhere safe to sleep. Where is it safe to sleep here? My eyes search the forest. Now in Australia most of the scary things don’t come out at night, all the nocturnal animals are relatively harmless, but in America I have no frigging idea. My face drops. Oh shit, bears. Are there bears in these woods? My eyes widen. Do they eat people? What about wolves… I’m so screwed.
Shit, I need a fire. How do you light a fire without a match? I shake my head at my stupidity. Survivor… I hate that fucking show and now I know why. This is totally shit. I hate surviving. At least if I had watched it I would have a faint idea what to do now, but no… I had to watch Dating Naked. What the hell am I ever going to learn from a show like Dating Naked other than that people are surprisingly stupid? I’m such an idiot. I keep walking and looking up into the trees as I walk. Maybe I should climb a tree? Hmm, no. I will fall out and break my neck as soon as I go to sleep, but I should sleep under a tree so that I can climb it if a bear comes to eat me. Why didn’t I bring the knife, oh god. I had to think of that, didn’t I? It was lodged in Carl’s neck, Natasha, you idiot.
I carry on up a steep hill and when I finally get to the top I hear the rushing sound of water in the valley below. Omg, water. I start to run with renewed purpose down the embankment towards the sound of the stream. Shit it’s away from the road. I stand and look at the road and then back into the forest where I hear the water coming from. It could be a long way away—I’m not risking it. I get lost in a shopping mall carpark, no way am I getting lost out here. I have drank nine litres of water over the last three days in preparation for this so I should be ok. I really would love a drink though. Tough shit as Joshua would say and I trudge back up the hill towards the road as I smile. I’m going to see my man soon and I picture his face when he finds out I’m still alive. My eyes tear up. After tonight it’s only two days until our wedding. I look down at myself covered in dirt, filthy with ripped track pants on. This isn’t the preparation I had planned. Oh well, suck it up princess and get moving.
After another hour of walking I am too exhausted to carry on and I sit on a large rock just in the bushland. The road looks to be about 500 metres away and I see a car come out of a road up ahead that I hadn’t noticed before and turn onto the one I have been following. I dip down to go unnoticed. Shit they are going towards the house I have just run from—have I been busted? I look back in the direction the car came from. I’m going the right way. That car came from somewhere and I stand with renewed purpose and start walking again. I was going to stop and sleep somewhere for the night but forget it. I’m getting home to my family tonight, even if I have to walk all night. I stay just inside the line of trees and finally come to the turn-off in the road that the car came from and I look down it tentatively. What do I do? Which way do I go? Here I stand on the corner of two roads, not a clue in hell which way to go, and I know my and Joshua’s whole entire future rests on this decision. I look down the road that I just followed that goes to the house of hell and then down the road to the left. I’m going this way because that car came from somewhere.
I continue to keep walking but I keep tripping as sunlight turns to darkness and I can’t see where I’m going. This is getting dangerous. I have to stop or I am going to break my leg. I find a large tree that has a big flat rock under it and I curl up into a ball on top of the rock. My eyes look around at the dark, cold and scary surroundings and for the first time today I let my fear sink in and the tears start to flow. “Please let me get home,” I whisper into the darkness. I know nobody is looking for me. Everyone already thinks I’m dead and if I die out here nobody will be any the wiser. “Please let me get home, please let me get home,” I repeat as a mantra. The darker it gets, the noisier the forest becomes with insects and animals and I lie still as I listen to them. What’s my beautiful Joshua doing now in prison? Is he ok? I smile. I did it. I broke out. I’m tougher than I think I am.
Hold on, Joshua my darling. I’m coming.
I wake freezing and slightly damp. It’s dawn and I survived the night… just. I stand and pain rips through my muscles and I smile stupidly. Funnily enough rocks are uncomfortable to sleep on, fancy that. I stretch to try and relieve some of the tightness in my muscles. I’m so frigging sore from my sprinting yesterday. That’s it, if I make it out of here alive I’m getting fit. Hell I might start cage fighting too, why not? I just stabbed a guy in the frigging neck. I frown in disgust at my alarming thoughts. Oh god. I look back at the bushland following the road and I start walking. It’s overcast and cold, and I need to keep moving.
After walking for hours it’s late afternoon. I’m starving hungry and thirsty, and I need to find some water to drink. For the last hour I have been running. It’s raining and although I need the water I know I will be freezing overnight out here with no protection. I keep stopping and opening my mouth to the sky, trying to get some fluids into my system. Where’s that honey Bear Grylls when you need him to make you a tent and a water bottle? I keep going and up ahead I see a driveway go off the main road and up into a mountain. Oh a house. I start to run through the forest in the direction of the house until I reach the driveway. It’s on the opposite side of the road to the forest I am in and I have to go across a paddock and then the road to get to it. It’s risky. If the car comes looking for me at that same time I will be found as I will be totally out in the clear with nowhere to hide. They would probably be looking for me by now. Actually why hasn’t anyone driven down this road? I frown. That’s strange. He’s dead, Carl’s dead, so he hasn’t called for help at all. But then sometimes he would stay with me for twenty-four hours so m
aybe that was a long shift and so nobody’s found out yet.
I look both ways, scooch down and start to go out into the open paddock towards the road. I continually check the road to make sure nobody is coming and I continue up the hill towards the road. My feet are cut up and the socks have spots of blood on them but I haven’t taken my socks off to look because I don’t want to see the damage. I don’t need another barrier in my head. I finally get to the side of the road and bend down and look both ways. This is risky. The road is dirt with big rocks on it and I have to sprint which means my feet are going to be ripped apart even more. The rain starts pouring down and my heart starts to pump heavily. I take some deep breaths and then I sprint for my life across the road and up the winding driveway. My feet are hurting so much that my tears start to fall as I run up the driveway in the torrential rain. I keep running and running as I cry until finally I am out of sight of the main road and I slump on a rock and cry into my hands. This is a nightmare. “You’re nearly there,” I scream out into the raindrops. “Keep fucking going,” I yell at myself. I stand and keep hobbling up the hill. What if this isn’t even a house? What if it’s just a road that goes to nowhere? “Why are you raining on me?” I scream. “This is hard enough!” I yell. “Pull yourself together, fruitcake,” I mutter under my breath. The driveway has gone over a hill and down a few bends and darkness has fallen. I am deep in the forest and as scared as hell. I can’t even walk properly now. I’m hobbling like an old woman. I need to rest my feet, so I will just walk over this next hill and then I will sit down for a while and rest. Yes, keep going, keep going, I keep repeating to myself.
I get to the top of the hill and look down into the valley below and see a sight that makes me burst into tears. A house, there is a house down there on the cleared land, an oasis in my hell. “Thank god,” I whisper as the tears roll down my face. “Thank you, thank you.”
I walk for another half an hour until I finally get to the house. It looked so close but it’s so far away. The house is in total darkness and I walk tentatively up the creaky front steps. It’s a large house with a big wrap-around verandah and there are rooms in the attic by the look of the windows jutting out of the tin roof. I open the heavy screen door and knock loudly. My heart is in my throat with fear, but I have to knock. I desperately need help. I can’t get out of here alone. I knock again and wait but an answer doesn’t come. “Please be home,” I whisper.
I follow the verandah around the side of the house and go to the back door and knock loudly on the door and wait. No answer again. What do I do? I sit on the back step and think for a moment. No one is home but I bet there is a telephone inside so I could ring the police. I stand and walk back around the verandah, peering in the windows. I just need to get into this house. I pick up a pot plant next to the front door and smash it through the glass. Then I put my hand through and unlatch the lock, jiggle the handle and it opens. Shit I did it. I walk in and feel around for a light switch on the wall to the right but nothing. I then feel around on the wall to my left and finally find some switches and turn them on and the house lights up. I smile broadly for the first time in two days.
“Hello,” I call out. “Is anyone home?”
Silence is the reply.
“Hello, I need your help. Please help me,” I call again as I look up the stairwell.
I wait for a reply. The last thing I need is to be mistaken for someone breaking in and shot on the spot.
“I have been kidnapped. Is anyone home? I just need to ring the police,” I call again.
Nobody’s home. Right, I need to find the phone. I walk through the house and make my way into the kitchen and I immediately open the fridge. Shit, no food. Nobody lives here—it must be a weekend cabin. I turn on the tap and thankfully water appears. I bend and drink straight from the tap. My eyes close in gratitude. Thank god, water—it tastes so good. Phone, I need to find the phone. My eyes search the kitchen and then I walk into the living area and I see the phone on the sideboard and I run and pick it up. No sound, oh no. I push on the receiver repeatedly as I try to get a dial tone… nothing. Shit, the phone has been disconnected. My eyes search the room for a computer or something, internet. There must be internet in this damn house somewhere. Nobody could stay out here in the sticks without internet, surely. There are three rooms off the hallway and I make my way down to them and check each of them. The first is a weird little room with a highback wing chair and an ottoman but no internet. The next room has nothing but bookshelves. I open the last room and I screw up my face in disgust. Animal heads are all mounted on the walls—he’s a hunter. The man who stays here is a hunter. My mind goes back to my fear of being eaten alive overnight, so I wasn’t frigging imagining it, and it could have easily happened. There are definitely huge wild animals around here.
