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“What. Why in the fuck would you do that?”
“Because you were acting totally crazy.”
“What if I was in a fight… and she saw. Don’t you remember her reaction when she saw me kickboxing.”
“It was a cage fight you animal, and I totally support her. That’s not a sport, it’s barbaric.”
“Whatever,” I roll my eyes. “Go home, you’re hurting my brain.”
“I am going home actually.” He turns and walks towards the door. “I’m having brunch with Natasha.”
Huh, what the fuck. I jump off the stool and follow him outside. “What did you just say?”
“I said,” he wobbles his stupid head to accentuate his point. “I’m having brunch with Natasha.”
“No you’re fucking not!”
“Oh yes I fucking am. Just because you won’t take her for coffee doesn’t mean I can’t.”
“You know why I don’t take her for coffee.”
“No I don’t, I don’t get you at all. You’re obsessed with her, won’t stop talking about her, but you won’t let yourself spend any time with her.”
“Because I can’t, you know that.”
“Why can’t you?”
“It’s fucking incest Adrian. It’s wrong. This is the kind of shit toothless rednecks who live in the damn swamp do, not millionaires and psychologists. It’s unheard of. And besides it is only going to make it harder when I leave, for her I mean.”
“Oh yeah sure, harder for her. You’re a hypocrite.” He turns to walk off again.
“Why am I a hypocrite?” I snap.
He turns and pokes me in the chest. “Who has been my biggest supporter in my sexuality, Josh? Fight for what’s right, Adrian. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, Adrian. You can’t put anyone’s happiness before your own, Adrian. You deserve to be happy, Adrian. Little did I know you wouldn’t have the guts to practise what you preach?”
“It’s different,” I shout. “And you know that. It’s not just me or I would do it in an instant. There isn’t a fucking thing I wouldn’t do to be with her, but I would never hurt her like that.”
“Like what?” He stills.
“Her family will disown her if they know, and I care too fucking much to let her choose me over them. It’s a decision that in years to come she will regret and I know that for a fact.”
“You asked her last night if she loves you.”
“I did what?”
“You heard me.”
I run both hands through my hair again. “This is a total fuck up.” I nod and go to walk away.
“Don’t you want to know her answer?” He smiles and I shake my head in sad resignation.
“No, I don’t,” I sigh. I walk back down my steps towards my front door.
“Yes!” he yells. “She said yes.”
Oh fuck. What next, how much more am I supposed to take? I just can’t take much more.
She’s killing me softly.
