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I wouldn’t have told her. No way I would have told her.
“I know that you think you’re going to die soon.”
I open my mouth to say something, but there are no words. I roll onto my back as I put my forearm over my face. Fuck. I can’t even look her in the eye.
She’s leaving.
We lie in silence for a while.
“I’m sorry about my behavior last night. I’m appalled that you saw me like that. I’ll have Lorenzo pick your things up and return them to Milan for you,” I say as I climb out of bed in a rush.
She sits up. “Can we talk about this?”
“No.”
“I want to know what I’m dealing with here.”
“It’s more than you can handle, Olivia.” I pull my boxers up in a rush. “Trust me.” I storm from the room and downstairs as my heart goes into panic mode.
She’s leaving.
I hit the shutters, and the sound of them rising echoes around me. Light begins to slowly flood the house. I flick on my coffee machine and close my eyes as I mentally prepare myself for her exit. My heart’s racing. I’m sucking in deep breathes to try and calm myself down.
Warm arms come around me from behind. “Rici,” she whispers, and she kisses my back.
I close my eyes. The thought of her knowing what I am is too much.
Disappointing her is my worst nightmare.
“Just go,” I sigh. “It will be less painful if we just get this over and done with.”
“Just talk to me.”
“And tell you what?” I cry.
“I’m not judging you,” she says calmly.
“Aren’t you, Olivia?” I spit and turn to her. “’Because it sure fucking feels like it.”
“You grew up in this life…” she asks.
“Yes… and no.”
Her eyes hold mine. “What does that mean?”
I exhale heavily. “I found out about everything when my father died.”
She frowns. “Up until then you thought Ferrara was a reputable family business?”
“It is a reputable business,” I snap. “There are just some unsavory aspects of it, I’m going to clean it up… but it takes fucking time.”
“Like what?”
I
shake my head in disgust. “I’m not discussing this, Olivia. Leave it.”
“Like what, Enrico. Tell me what unsavory means.”
