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“How do you think?” I retorted, keeping my voice low. I drained my glass and started looking around for another waiter.
“How many of those have you had?” Jason asked.
“Fuck you,” I muttered.
On the stage, the speech ended, and there was light applause.
“Why are you here?” I asked, my voice muffled by the applause. “I heard you weren’t in the country.”
“I just returned.”
“You didn’t have to come,” I said. “You knew I’d be here.”
Somewhere inside, I hoped he would tell me he’d come because he wanted to see me. I hoped he would apologize for the past few weeks, but his next words destroyed any hope I felt.
“You should tell Amy,” he said quietly.
“Tell her what?” I choked. “That we’re over?”
&n
bsp; He didn’t respond, and I felt a painful thickening in my throat.
“You told me you…” I searched his face and found nothing, just an inscrutable expression. You told me you loved me. I swallowed the words. “Why don’t you tell her yourself,” I hissed, snatching my purse from the table. I got up and forced a smile. “I’ll be right back,” I said in the general direction of everyone else.
I had no intention of returning to the table. I walked out of the restaurant, and in the lobby, I whipped out my phone to request a ride.
A sixth sense told me Jason had followed me. I turned around, and sure enough, he had just stepped into the sparse lobby. I faced him, waiting as he closed the distance between us.
“You don’t have to leave because of me,” he said softly.
I pulled in a painful breath. I was tired. I was tired of being without him. I was tired of being ignored. I couldn’t allow myself to believe we were over, to believe he didn’t care anymore. Memories of him…of us flashed through my mind—every loving word he’d ever whispered to me, every promise. Whatever the reason he was pushing me away, I couldn’t accept that those things were no longer true.
“Tell me what’s going on,” I pleaded desperately. Even my worst fears didn’t come close to the actual torture of watching him set up barriers between us that I couldn’t cross. “Can’t you see that you’re breaking my heart?”
He pulled in a breath, and when he took me in his arms, I didn’t resist. I melted into his warmth, my hope for an explanation much stronger than any anger I felt toward him for leaving me out in the cold.
“Please, talk to me,” I whispered.
He stroked my hair then he held my gaze. I waited for him to say something, almost ashamed of how eager I was. His hand left my hair, but he kept his eyes on mine.
“There’s nothing to say,” he said, his voice strangely cold and brutal. “I thought I was in love with you, but I was wrong.”
The words rang in my head like a thunderclap, and my legs almost gave way. I didn’t want to believe I’d just heard that right. I stared at his face and took a step back, almost losing my balance.
He reached out to steady me, but I pushed his hands away. Somehow, I managed to walk to the exit. I stepped outside to the sidewalk, unsure what I was going to do. The ride app was still open on my phone, and I stared at the screen uncomprehendingly. I started to walk then stopped, not even sure of the direction I was going.
I thought I was in love with you, but I was wrong.
A scream built in my throat. I felt sick. There was a carved flower planter on the sidewalk, as tall as my waist, sprouting geraniums that were beautifully illuminated by the street lights. I leaned on the edge of the concrete, needing the balance, needing a moment to get my senses in order.
I didn’t notice the SUV until it stopped right in front of me. Leonard approached me quietly, and I glared at him, feeling almost feral in my anger.
“Let me guess—you’re here to take me home.”
He looked sad. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“How much does he pay you to do his dirty work?” I spat, my voice bitter. There were tears on my cheeks, and I pulled in a deep breath of the cool night air. “I don’t need a ride, Leonard, thank you. You can tell him to go fuck himself.”
