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“Meaning Hunter and I have music in common and I value his opinions.” This last she finished lamely as if she recognized that throwing her connection with Hunter in Kyle’s face was sure to inflame their argument further.
“Did you know he was going to be here to introduce you tonight?”
“I didn’t ask for him, if that’s what you’re thinking.” She paused, and then said, “I’m pretty sure we’re not fighting about Hunter.”
“I’m pretty sure we are.” He ground his teeth together. “I’m not accusing you of cheating.”
“Well, thank goodness for that, because I wasn’t and I haven’t and I’m not going to.”
“But it feels as if you like having it both ways.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You won’t agree to marry me. Why is that?”
“Honestly, because you’ve never told me you love me.”
“I do.”
“And yet you can’t bring yourself to say it. I get it, your father instilled in you the compulsion to repress your emotions because he thought they made you weak.”
He had no argument and stared at her in frustration and anguish. His father had made him outwardly tough while his mother had made him inwardly weak. He could see every possible thing that could go wrong and it terrified him. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell Melody that. She expected him to be strong, but being that for her also diminished his ability to be vulnerable.
She sighed and her voice calmed. “You say I want to have it both ways. I really only wanted one way. I want to feel safe in a relationship.”
“That’s why I asked you to marry me. I want you to realize that I’m committed to you and our daughter.” Was there any better way to demonstrate how he felt about her than to make her his wife?
From Melody’s expression, her consternation had grown as he spoke. “I don’t want us to get married for the wrong reasons.”
“We wouldn’t.”
“If I hadn’t gotten pregnant, would you have asked me to marry you?”
“I believe we were heading there.” He wouldn’t have asked her to move in if he hadn’t been going down that road. But he couldn’t say for sure whether she’d been all that keen on the idea. “Or at least, I was.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I’m not the one who’s skeptical about marriage. My parents might not be perfect for each other or even happy all of the time, but they’ve honored their vows and I don’t doubt they’ll stay married until death.” Now it was her turn to answer some tough questions. “Did you see marriage in our future?”
“Honestly, I never imagined you’d ask me, so I never saw us married.”
Her answer struck him hard even though it didn’t surprise him. “Why were you with me at all?”
Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “You are fun and sexy, strong and sweet. You know how to make me laugh and can turn me on with a look. I enjoy being with you.” She looked as if she wanted to say more, but then shook her head.
“That sounds like a description of how any number of men could make you feel. In fact, I think when I asked you what it was about Hunter that you couldn’t live without, you said something similar.”
“That’s not true.” But she frowned and he wondered if she was second-guessing herself.
“When I look at you,” he said, “I see my future.”
“How can you say that when you can’t tell me you love me?”
“I have offered you everything I am. If three words are all that stands between us, then you can have them. Just don’t be surprise
d when they don’t bring you the happiness you expect.”
Kyle paused, but it wasn’t as if the words hadn’t resonated through his thoughts a thousand times. He didn’t want to say them like this. In the middle of a fight. To prove a point. He’d wanted the moment to be romantic and as perfect as he could make it. Yet, maybe love wasn’t about the big moments, but rather the small ones.
