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Grant opened his mouth but no words came out. Long ago, he’d learned a hard lesson. It hurt too much to let his heart lead the way. And yet, could he honestly say that logic had guided his decision to become a doctor against his parents’ wishes? Wasn’t his crusade to help create families a deeply personal, emotional mission for him? Every successful procedure brought him satisfaction because he had enabled another’s joy. If all that was true, why did he use professionalism to isolate himself instead of celebrating with his patients?
Because if he allowed his emotion to flow, he might not be able to rein himself back in.
“Harley loves you,” Piper declared. “You love her. What are you so damned afraid of?”
Before he could answer, Piper’s gaze shifted past him and something in her expression sent an electric shock of fear through Grant. He knew Harley stood behind him and the ache in his chest made it nearly impossible to catch his breath.
“This is the moment to declare how you really feel about her,” Piper said, squeezing his arm in encouragement.
“I don’t know if I can,” he admitted, the admission born of fear and an instinctive need to avoid pain. It was like being asked to perform surgery on himself without anesthetic. The hurt would be intense, but it was something he needed to go through to heal.
“You can.” Piper hit him with a stern look before she moved past him. “Don’t hold anything back.”
Grant tracked Piper’s retreat for a couple seconds before shifting his full attention to Harley. As soon as their eyes locked, she began to turn away. No! In that instant of abject panic, he recognized the truth. He loved her—deeply, passionately, without reason or sanity. Confronting this reality was as terrifying and perilous as he’d expected and something he’d been running from since the moment she arrived back in Royal.
“Harley, wait.” Grant crossed the space between them in three gigantic strides and caught her hand. “I need to talk to you.”
Her chest rose and fell on a huge sigh. “Look, you win,” she said, her shoulders slumping in defeat. “It wasn’t fair of me to keep you away from Daniel for the last four years and it wouldn’t be right for us to go back to Thailand now. So, I’ve decided that we’re staying in Texas.”
Her decision should’ve thrilled him. Instead, his confidence cracked beneath the impact of her sacrifice. “I’m glad.”
“I figured you would be.” A cynical smile twisted her lips. “And Daniel’s happy here. He’s made new friends and all his family is here.”
Nowhere in any of her rationale had she mentioned anything that benefited her. Grant knew how hard she’d worked to make Zest a success and that running the nonprofit from Texas wasn’t ideal. Yet, she was willing to dial down her dreams so her son would benefit from having his father in his life and Grant couldn’t even confess how important she was to him.
“It’s great that you’re staying,” he said, “because...”
His entire world would change with the next sentence he declared. Did he confess the unvarnished truth of his heart and work damned hard to make her happy? Or should he continue to play it safe and slowly but surely fail to live up to her expectations? Harley wouldn’t be satisfied with half measures and excuses. She was the sort who went all in and would expect him to do the same.
“I think you and Daniel should move in with me.”
* * *
Harley gasped. Move in with him?
“Have you thought this through at all?” The question flew from her lips before she had a chance to weigh the best way to respond.
“No,” he admitted, looking more than a little stunned by his impulsiveness. “But it’s exactly what I want.”
It would be the height of foolishness to assume he meant anything other than what was utterly practical. Of course, Grant needed her. He needed her to stay in Texas so he’d have access to his son. If she returned to Thailand, Daniel would go with her. Grant intended to take her to court, but those things took time. She could be gone before the custody battle happened and he’d be forced to wait until she returned to the states once more to assert his rights.
“Why?”
“I need both you and Daniel in my life.”
“You need us,” Harley echoed, schooling herself not to read anything into such an unsatisfying answer. “And you think living with me is the price you have to pay in order to be a full-time father.”
Her heart broke as she recognized the folly of her dream to become a family with him. Why hadn’t she listened when he told her that he wasn’t marriage material? She’d deceived herself into believing that he hadn’t truly loved Paisley. Or that they hadn’t suited each other. He’d claimed Paisley had expected too much from him. That she’d demanded more than he could give her.
Harley had convinced herself that he would stop relying on his logic and trust his emotions when it came to her. She knew he loved Daniel, even if he couched the affection in a word like need. And she was starting to think he held s
ome sort of fondness for her. But friendship wasn’t enough. She couldn’t be satisfied with whatever portion of himself Grant was willing to give. She wanted everything he was and to give him all of her in return. The best and worst of each other. The passion and the reason. To be friends, lovers and soul mates.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, scowling at her. “The only reason I asked you to move in with me is because I can’t bear to live without you.”
Weeks earlier, his words would’ve been music to her ears. Now, she worried that he was only telling her what she wanted to hear so he could arrange everything to suit him. But what if he was truly ready to give their relationship a chance?
“Why the change?” Before she gave in, she needed to hear his motivation. “What do you really want?”
