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She’d reached the entryway and slipped her coat off the hook. “I think it will be better if Waldo and I move back to my apartment. I’ll be back in the morning to take care of Maggie.” She didn’t point out that the new nanny was set to start work in four days, but Liam was all too aware that he was on the verge of losing her forever.
“Maybe you’re right and we moved too fast,” he said. “But don’t think for one second that I’ve changed my mind about wanting to spend the rest of my life with you.” He extended his hand to catch her arm and stop her from leaving, but she sidestepped him, the unresisting cat clutched to her chest.
“I think it would be better for both of us if we focused on our individual futures. I have to finish school. You have a custody case to win. Once things settle down we can reconnect and see how we feel.”
“If you think I’m going to agree to not see you for the next few months you’ve got it wrong.”
“Of course we’ll see each other.” But her words weren’t convincing. She set down the cat. Waldo stretched and wrapped himself around her legs while she donned her coat. Then, picking up her purse and the cat, Hadley opened the front door. “But I’m going to be crazy once classes start again, and you’ve got a couple hundred cattle set to give birth. Let’s give ourselves a couple weeks to see where we’re at.”
“You’re not going to be able to brush me off that easily,” he growled as she slipped through the front door and pulled it closed behind her, leaving him and Maggie alone in the enormous, echoing Victorian mansion.
Twelve
Hadley was still reeling from déjà vu as she let herself into her apartment and set Waldo on the floor. The silver tabby’s warmth had been a comfort as she’d sped through the early-evening darkness toward her tiny apartment.
How could she have been so stupid as to let herself get blinded by love a second time? So much for being five years older and wiser. She was obviously no less desperate; otherwise she wouldn’t have become Liam’s convenient solution the way she’d been Noah’s. Honestly, what had happened to her common sense?
With her emotions a chaotic mess, Hadley looked for something in her apartment to occupy her, but after straightening a few pillows, dusting and running the vacuum, she ran out of tasks. While water boiled for a cup of tea, she wished her classes had resumed. At least then she’d have a paper to write or a test to study for. Something to occupy her thoughts and keep her mind off Liam.
She could call Kori and pour her heart out. Hadley rejected the idea as soon as it occurred to her. She wasn’t ready to tell anyone that she’d screwed up again. The injury to her pride was still too fresh. Not to mention the damage to her confidence. As for the pain in her heart, Hadley could scarcely breathe as she considered all she’d lost tonight. Not just Liam, but Maggie as well.
Would it have been so bad to marry Liam and become Maggie’s mom? The whole time she’d been falling in love with Liam, she’d thought he and Maggie were a package deal. And then came their trip to Colorado. When she’d decided to believe him about his brother being Maggie’s dad, letting her heart lead for a change hadn’t felt one bit scary. She’d assumed Kyle would eventually come to Wade Ranch and take responsibility for Maggie. It never occurred to her that Liam intended to fight his brother for custody and that he might propose in order to appear to be the better candidate.
Desperate for a distraction from her turbulent thoughts, Hadley carried the hot tea to her small desk and turned on the computer. Before she’d considered her actions, she cued up the internet and impulsively ventured on to a popular social media site. Her fingers tapped out Noah’s name and she pushed Enter before she could change her mind.
In seconds his page appeared and her heart gave a little jump as she stared at the photo of him and his kids that he used as his profile picture. Five years had gone by. Peter and Nikki were eight and seven now. They looked happy in their father’s arms. Noah’s wife wasn’t in the shot, and Hadley searched through some of his other photos to see if she showed up anywhere. There were pictures of her with both kids, but none of her with Noah. Were they still married? Nothing in his profile information gave her a clue.
Feeling more than a little stalkerish, Hadley searched for Anna, but found no sign of her onetime friend. She almost left the website, inclined to switch to something with less potential for heartache, when she decided to search for Anna’s sister, Char. And there she found Anna. Only she wasn’t Anna Johnson any more. She was Anna Bradley now. A happily married woman with two beautiful girls.
Hadley stared at the photos in numb disbelief. This is the woman she’d been feeling guilty about for ten years? Anna hadn’t wallowed in her misfortune. She hadn’t sat around letting life pass her by. She’d gone to college in Dallas, become an engineer, gotten married and was busy raising a two-and a four-year-old.
It was as if the universe had reached out a hand and smacked Hadley on the back of the head and yelled, snap out of it. Noah had moved forward with his life. He had his kids and seemed to be in a good place with his wife or ex-wife. Anna was thriving with a career and family. Apparently Hadley was the only one stuck in limbo.
With revelations pouring over her like ice water, Hadley shut down the computer and picked up a notebook and a pen. It was time for her to stop dwelling on what had happened in the past and to consider how she envisioned her future. What was her idea of a perfect career? Where did she want to live? Was the love in her heart strong enough to overcome her doubts and fears?
* * *
Liam entered the pediatrician’s office and spotted Hadley seated by the wall, Maggie’s carrier on the chair beside her. Overnight the baby’s temperature had risen, and the concern radiating from Hadley caused a spike in his anxiety.
“How is she?” he asked as he sat beside Maggie and peered in her carrier.
“A little bit worse than she was when I arrived this morning. She wouldn’t eat and seems listless. I’m glad we had this appointment scheduled today.”
Hadley was obviously distraught, and Liam badly wanted to offer her the comfort of his embrace, but yesterday she hadn’t believed him when he’d told her there was more to his proposal than his determination to seek custody of Maggie. What made him think that a miracle had occurred overnight to change her mind?
“Do you think the jaundice is causing this?”
“More likely the jaundice is a symptom of something more serious.”
“Damn it.” The curse vibrated in his chest as anxiety flared. He stared down at the sleeping baby. “I can’t lose her.”
“Liam, you’re not going to lose her.” Hadley reached across Maggie’s carrier and set her fingers on his upper arm.
The light contact burned through him like a wildfire, igniting his hope for a future with her. She loved him. The proof was in her supportive tone and her desire to reassure him. But as he reached to cover her hand with his, she withdrew. When she spoke again, her voice had a professional crispness.
“She’s going to be fine.”
He hated the distance between them. He’d been wrong to propose to her as part of a schem
