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“I’m not going to marry any of these women.”
His mother sat back and stared at him, her eyes narrowed and searching. “Have you decided on someone else?”
“Yes. The same person I’ve wanted all along.”
“Olivia.”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“You take after your father. He’s a romantic devil, too.” Her eyes sparkled at Gabriel’s doubtful expression. “Oh, not that anyone other than me would know it, but he wouldn’t consider divorcing me when I couldn’t get pregnant. Even after I left him and made him think that I’d fallen in love with another man.”
“What?” This was a tale he’d never heard. “You fell in love with someone while you were married to Father?”
His mother laughed gaily. “Of course not. But I certainly convinced your father I did.” A faraway look entered her eyes. “But he chased after me and discovered there was no other man. I finally admitted that the doctor told me I couldn’t get pregnant the old-fashioned way and together we figured out a solution.”
That sounded familiar. Except for the part where a solution was found together.
“I’m surprised,” Gabriel admitted.
“Because your father counseled you to break your engagement with Olivia even before the hysterectomy? You need to understand how difficult those days were for us. The doubt, the worry. It was hard on us. Hard on our marriage. And we were deeply in love.”
Her last words struck a nerve. “And Olivia and I are not.” His mother’s assumption annoyed him more than it should.
Given that he’d only just begun to get acquainted with the woman he had been planning to marry, it made sense that he couldn’t possibly love her.
And if not love, then what emotion was at the root of his miserable existence without Olivia?
“He just wants to spare you.” She reached across the table and laid her hand over his. “We both do.”
Gabriel captured her gaze. “Would you change anything about the decision you made? Knowing the trials and heartbreak you suffered, would you walk away from the man you love and never look back?”
His mother withdrew her hand and sat back. Her expression was determined and sad at the same time. “No.”
“Thank you.”
He stood and circled the table to kiss her cheek. Expecting her to ask what he was up to, she surprised him again by staying silent.
Leaving his mother, he headed upstairs to await Olivia’s arrival. She’d made arrangements through his mother to visit Bethany and Karina and bring them a special birthday present. Gabriel knew it was cheating to use his daughters to secure time with Olivia, but he was feeling a little desperate. If his daughters had taught him anything it was how to exist in the moment. There was no past or future with them. They lived for hugs, treats, mischief and pony rides. Every second in their company reminded him that wonderful things came out of less than ideal situations.
The twins weren’t in the nursery. He’d arranged for them to have a picnic in the garden. In half an hour they would arrive for the
ir nap. He hoped that gave him enough time with Olivia. While he waited, he sat on Bethany’s bed and picked up the photo of Marissa on the girls’ nightstand. A scrapbook had been among the twins’ possessions. Olivia had chosen this particular picture to frame and place between the girls so they would remember their mother.
Marissa was pregnant in the picture. Not full-term, perhaps seven months, yet still huge. Had she known she was carrying twins? He traced her smile with his fingertips. She looked older than he remembered, aged by experience, not years, yet luminescent in motherhood.
Why hadn’t she contacted him when she knew she was pregnant? Had she not wished to burden him? Had she feared his rejection yet again? He couldn’t have married her. Wouldn’t have married her. Even if Sherdana’s laws hadn’t dictated his bride needed to be a citizen of the country or of noble birth for his offspring to be able to inherit the crown, where Gabriel and Marissa had been most compatible was between the sheets, which was where they’d spent half of their time together.
Out of bed, her passionate nature had revealed itself in turbulent emotions and insecurity. He knew the latter had been his fault. He couldn’t offer her a future and she’d deserved better. In the end, he’d let her go and part of him had been relieved.
He’d put Sherdana’s needs before hers. He’d done the same with Olivia. Only this time there was no certainty that he’d made the right decision. No sense that a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. His daughters were the only bright spot in his future. His mother wanted him to consider who would become his princess, but he couldn’t make that decision until he spoke with Olivia and saw for himself what was in her heart.
* * *
Olivia took on the challenge of the palace stairs at a sedate pace, but was uncomfortably short of breath by the time she reached the first landing. Several maids trotted past her, but none of the staff paid her undue attention. Still, she felt like an interloper in the place where she thought she’d spend the rest of her life.
Relaxing her grip on the gaily wrapped packages containing china dolls, Olivia forced herself to keep climbing. As beautiful as the dolls were, giving toddlers such delicate toys was probably a recipe for disaster. But Olivia wanted to share with the girls something special. The dolls were just like the one her mother had bought for her and not lived to present the gift.
In her heart Olivia knew it was selfish of her to want them to remember her. First their mother had died and now they faced the loss of someone else they relied on. It was too much change for ones so young. At least they would still have their father. Olivia was comforted by how much Gabriel loved his daughters.
