AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I was in a hurry,” Wes said and wondered why he was almost apologizing to his assistant for usurping her job.
She paused, then went on. “Fine, fine. When the final drawings on the PR campaign are turned in, I’ll overnight them to you at the hotel. If you need anything else, let me know and I’ll take care of it.”
“Robin,” he said with feeling, “you are the one bright spot in a fairly miserable couple of days.”
“Thanks, boss,” she said, and he heard the smile in her voice. “I’ll remind you of that when I want a raise.”
“I know you will,” he said and was still smiling when he hung up.
Alone again, he drank his beer, and still facing hours to kill before speaking to Isabelle again, Wes had an idea. Grabbing the remote that worked both the flat-screen television and the computer, he turned the latter on. In a few minutes, he was watching an online video to learn ASL.
American Sign Language.
Three
Wes could have walked to Isabelle’s house, since it was just outside town, but at night, the temperature dropped even farther and he figured he’d be an icicle by the time he arrived. The five-minute drive brought him to the long, winding road that stretched at least a half mile before ending in front of the stately Victorian. His headlights swept the front of the place and he took a moment to look it over.
The big house was painted forest green and boasted black shutters and white gingerbread trim. Surrounded as it was by snow-covered pines, the old house looked almost magical. Lamplight glowed from behind window glass, throwing golden shadows into the night. Porch lights shone from what used to be brass carriage lanterns and signaled welcome—though Wes was fairly certain that welcome wasn’t something Belle was feeling for him.
“Doesn’t matter,” he told himself. He turned off the engine and just sat there for a minute, looking up at the house. He’d been thinking about nothing but this moment for hours now, and he knew that this conversation would be the most important of his life. He had a child.
A daughter.
Just that thought alone was enough to make his insides jitter with nerves. He didn’t even know her, yet he felt a connection to this child. There were so many different feelings running through him, he couldn’t separate them all. Panic, of course—who could blame him for being terrified at the thought of being responsible for such a small human being? And whether Belle wanted to admit it or not, he was as responsible for Caroline as she was.
But there was more. There was...wonder. He’d helped to create a person. Okay, he hadn’t had a clue, but that child was here. In the world. Because of him. He smiled to himself even as a fresh wave of trepidation rose up inside him.
Nothing in his life had worried him before this, but at least internally, Wes had to admit that being a father was a damn scary proposition. What the hell did he know about being a parent?
His own mother had died when Wes was six months old. His father, Henry Jackson, had raised him single-handedly. Henry had done a good job, but he’d also managed to let his son know in countless different ways that allowing a woman into your life was a sure path to misery. Though he’d made it clear it wasn’t having a woman that was the problem—it was losing her.
He’d loved Wes’s mother and was lost when she died. Once when Wes was sixteen, Henry had finally talked to him, warning him to guard his heart.
“Wes, you listen good. A woman’s a fine thing for a man,” Henry had mused, staring up at the wide, Texas sky on a warm summer night. “And finding one you can love more than your own life is a gift and a curse all at once.”
“Why’s that?” Wes held a sweating bottle of Coke between his palms and leaned back in the lawn chair beside his father. It had been a long, backbreaking day of work on the ranch, and Wes was exhausted. But he and his dad always ended the day like this, sitting out in the dark, talking, and it didn’t even occur to him to give it up just because he was tired.
“Because once you give your heart to a woman, she can take it with her when she leaves.” Henry turned and looked his son dead in the eye. “Your mama took mine when she died, and I’ve lived like half a man ever since.”
Wes knew that to be true, since he’d seen the sorrow in his father’s eyes ever since he was old enough to identify it.
“Love is a hard thing, Wes, and you just remember that, now that you’re old enough to go sniffing around the females.” He sighed and focused on the stars as if, Wes thought, the old man believed if he looked at the sky hard enough, he might be able to peer through the blackness and into Heaven itself.
“I’m not saying I regret a minute of loving your mother,” Henry said on a heavy sigh. “Can’t bring myself to say that, no matter how deep the loss of her cut me. Without her, I wouldn’t have you, and I don’t like the thought of that at all. What I’m trying to tell you, boy, is that it’s better to not love too hard or too permanent. Easier to live your life when you’re not worried about having the rug pulled out from under your feet.” He stared into Wes’s eyes. “Guard your heart, Wes. That’s what I’m telling you.”
Wes had listened well to his father’s advice. Oh, he loved women. All women. But he kept them at arm’s length, never letting them close enough to get beyond the wall he so carefully constructed around his heart. All through school, he’d been single-mindedly focused on building a business he started with his college roommate.
Together, they’d bought up hundreds of tiny, aerodynamically perfect toy planes at auction, then sold them at a profit to bored college students at UT. Within a week, planes had been flying from dorm windows, classrooms, down staircases. The students set up contests for flight, distance and accuracy. Seeing how quickly they’d sold out of their only product, Wes and his friend had put the money they made back into their growing business. Soon, they were the go-to guys for toys to help fight boredom and mental fatigue. By the time they graduated, Wes had found his life’s path. He bought out his friend, allowing him to finance his way through medical school, and Wes took Texas Toy Goods Inc. to the top.
Along the way, there had been more women, but none of them had left a mark on him—until Belle. And he’d fought against that connection with everything he had. He wasn’t looking for love. He’d seen his own father wallow in his sorrow until the day he died and was able to finally rejoin the woman he’d mourned for more than twenty years. Wes had no intention of allowing his life to be turned upside down for something as ephemeral as love.
Yet now here he was, out in front of Belle’s house, where his daughter slept. The world as he knew it was over. The new world was undiscovered country. And, he told himself, there was no time like the present to start exploring it.
He got out of the car, turned the collar of his black leather jacket up against the wind, closed the car door and headed up the brick walk that had been shoveled clear. Funny to think about all the times he’d avoided the very complication he was now insisting on. Still, he thought as he climbed the steps to the porch, he could take the easy way out, go along with what Belle wanted and simply disappear. His daughter wouldn’t miss him because she wasn’t even aware of his existence.
And that was what gnawed at him. His little girl didn’t know him. She’d looked up at him today and hadn’t realized who the hell he was. Who would have thought that the simple action would have hit him so hard? So yeah, he could walk away, but what would that make him?
“A coward, that’s what,” he grumbled as he stood before the front door. Well, Wes Jackson was many things, but no one had ever accused him of cowardice, and that wasn’t going to change now.
