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So they watch him.
They watch me walk up to him and they watch as he takes me away in his Mustang.
By now they know who he is.
There are several rumors about him and me, and of course one of them is that we’re together. That he’s my boyfriend and I’m having his baby.
I am having his baby but he’s not my boyfriend.
He never wanted to be and he never will be.
“You,” I reply.
“What?”
“Girls always look at you, remember?”
“I don’t like it.”
Surprised, I laugh. “Are you serious? You loved it. And you always watched them back. And –”
“I didn’t.”
“What?”
“Watch them.”
“I…”
I forget what I was going to say because with the way he’s watching me, it looks like… he’s trying to say that he didn’t watch them.
He watched me instead and that’s absurd, isn’t it?
He moves his eyes away and goes back to glaring at the girls over my shoulder. “If they want to watch, I’m –"
“Just ignore them. I do.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” he growls.
“I swear it’s okay.”
He narrows his eyes for a second before taking a step toward the gate but I stop him.
Physically.
Well, maybe that gives the wrong impression. I can’t physically stop him from anything. He’s bigger than me, a lot bigger and stronger.
He’s like a towering mountain, a building, and I’m like a bag of feathers to him.
I can’t stop him, but I do.
I put a hand on his hard stomach and he comes to a halt, going all rigid.
He glances down at it, at my small, pale hand on his white shirt, before looking up at me. “Let me go.”
I have to take a moment before answering him. “No.”
He flexes his fingers on my backpack that he’s holding. “Take your hand off, Fae.”
And I swear to God, my heart spins so fast in my chest that I think it will break out. It will burst out of its cage made of bones like I burst out of mine, the cage of cinderblocks and black gates.
The one he sprung me out of.
The guy who’s so much stronger than me but somehow is letting me control him like this.
Letting me make him do things.
Like he could. Make me do things I mean. Back then.
Back when I was in love with him.
Swallowing, I say, “No. You’re not going in there.”
His jaw clenches. “I am.”
“No, you’re not. We’re leaving.”
“Fae.”
My own stomach clenches as I press a hand on his. “No. You’re not going to fight with anyone, Reed. I won’t let you. I told you that it’s okay. They’ll lose interest after a while. If they want to look at something, let them. I don’t care. But you’re not going in there and doing your thing.”
“What’s my thing?”
“Blackmailing people.”
“This is going to be much easier than blackmail.”
“Oh, that makes me feel so much better.”
“That’s the idea.”
I sigh. “No. You’re not going. Besides, aren’t we late for our appointment?”
He stares at me, all belligerent and angry, and I stare back.
I’m not belligerent though, no.
I’m breathless.
My lips are parted and my heart is racing.
Because I don’t know what to do anymore.
I thought I knew.
I thought that all I had to do was remember my mistakes from two years ago so I won’t repeat them. I thought that if I remembered every little thing he did to me and that if I carried every little piece of my heart that he broke, I’d be safe.
I’d be safe from him.
But I don’t think I’m safe anymore.
He backs off then. He obeys me and his muscles go lax under my fingers, like I’ve managed to tame this beast with just my touch.
“This isn’t over.” With that, he throws a last glance over my shoulders and commands, “Let’s go.”
***
The room’s stark white and smells of bleach.
Which is to be expected, because it’s an examination room.
We’re at a private clinic.
For my first doctor’s appointment.
Because in addition to taking a pregnancy test, there’s another thing a girl does when she finds out she’s pregnant. And like everything else so far, Reed has taken care of that too.
Even though the clinic is out of town — not in Bardstown but in the neighboring town of Wuthering Garden — Reed has assured my brothers and me that she’s a good doctor and comes highly recommended.
As soon as we came in, a nurse in pink scrubs gave us a bunch of forms to fill out.
Which again Reed took care of.
He asked me questions when he didn’t know the answers but mostly it was all him.
Then that same nurse ushered us into an examination room. She told us that a technician would be with us in a few minutes and that in the meantime I should change into a white gown. She also gave me a cup to pee in along with a thick Sharpie so I could write my initials on it, for the pregnancy test.
