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“Don’t you dare get into this bed with me,” I growl.
Honestly, I don’t want him anywhere near me at the moment.
His face falls, and I pull the covers up around my shoulders and close my eyes.
I’ve had enough of today.
That’s it. I’m out.
I wake in the dimly-lit room to the sound of a trolley outside in the corridor. What time is it?
I frown and sit up to look around the room. Huh? Where’s Ben.
Oh there, I see him.
Curled up on the floor.
His head is resting on a cushion from the chair and he has no blanket. He’s fast asleep on the carpet, lying across the doorway.
Why is he asleep there? It’s an odd place to sleep. Then it comes to me.
Oh, no.
He’s asleep across the doorway so I can’t leave without waking him up.
I get up, go to the bathroom, and come back and sit in bed and watch him in the darkness.
I notice an extra blanket on my bed, and I screw up my face as my sadness takes over.
He got the spare blanket and put it on me, while he slept on the floor without one for himself.
Damn you, Ben. Put yourself first, for once.
I hop up, grab the blanket, and put it over him. He stirs but doesn’t wake.
I get back into bed and take out my phone to text Mum and Tash.
Arrived safely
Call you later. Jetlagged.
I sit and watch Ben as my mind starts to tick over. I’m his next of kin.
I’m the person he cares about the most. I didn’t realise it, but for all these years he’s been just as connected as me.
I lie back in bed and stare at the ceiling for half an hour as my tears run down into my ears.
I’m beyond devastated. We could have been so good together.
Next of kin stand by their family, but I can’t stand by this. I can’t stand what he does—I can’t stand what the army has done to him. They’ve brainwashed him into hero-worshiping their institute.
“I’m a soldier first, Bridget.”
The army has been his family up until now, and I get that, I really do… but just when he comes back to me, I find out about this?
Why didn’t he just tell me? I put my head in my hands.
Because he knew how you would react, I tell myself.
He knew that I would leave him.
Sadness fills me. He’s missed out on so much and sacrificed so much for his country.
Am I really going to leave him now?
I take out my headphones, plug them into my phone, and go to search through my playlists. I need to think.
I put on some background music to drown out my thoughts.
Baby, I am right here,
Baby, I am right here,I'll hold you when things go wrong.
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn.
I listen to the lyrics. Who sings this song? I’ve never heard it before.
I look it up and find it’s by Zayn and Sia, and it’s called ‘Dusk till Dawn’.
I smile sadly. It’s fitting that I should listen to it now.
For half an hour, I sit and stare at Ben on the floor all alone. For half an hour, I search my soul for an answer as to what I should do.
For half an hour, I listen to this song on repeat.
Things have gone wrong—really wrong—all along for Ben.
He left me because he was trying to protect me.
He does what he does because his country asks it of him.
He didn’t know that they were going to come back.
He didn’t know that I would get dragged into this.
If I’m his next of kin, then I should start acting like it.
I walk over and watch him for a moment. Without a thought, I drop down and lie beside him on the cold, hard floor. I get underneath the blanket and wrap my arms around his broad chest.
I’ll be with you from dusk till dawn, baby.
You’ll never be alone.
“I’m here, baby,” I whisper. “I’m here.”
* * *
BEN
I stir, and feel warm arms around me from behind. I turn in a rush to see my girl on the floor asleep with me. My heart sinks. I take her into my arms and hold her tight. I kiss her hair and close my eyes. Everything with Bridget just feels so right.
Last night I had to keep her here at all costs. She shouted and cried, and I could do nothing but watch her, petrified that she was going to rush out the door and leave me.
I couldn’t ensure her safety last night, but I need to now.
I exhale as I try to steel myself for what I’m about to do. I’ve walked away from her once before, and I’ll do it again if that’s what it takes to ensure that she’s safe.
I stare at the ceiling above us and listen to her breathing peacefully as she sleeps. Who knew such a simple sound could be my medicine?
