AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I do, Ben.”
I roll my eyes. “It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway,” I mutter under my breath.
“Why doesn’t it?”
I shrug. “You know why. Last night was the beginning of the end for us.”
She shakes her head subtly. “Was it? ” She flicks her hair angrily over her shoulder. “Why do you say that?”
“You can’t live with someone like me.” I raise an eyebrow sarcastically. “Your words, not mine,” I add.
“I was in shock, Ben.”
I sit forward in my seat. “Fucking bullshit. You knew what I did. You pretended that you didn’t know, and whether you did it unconsciously or not, all the facts were there. I told you that I had a past and that I didn’t want you involved in it.”
She folds her arms in front of her. “Oh. So all this is my fault now?” she sneers. “You’ve got a fucking hide. You told me you were a soldier.”
“I am a fucking soldier,” I growl.
She leans in. “You are a glorified assassin.”
I sit back, smile, and with a shake of my head, I hold my hand out. “And there it is.”
Her face falls.
“That’s what you’re going to be throwing in my face for the rest of my life,” I reply.
Her eyes hold mine.
I sit forward in my chair. “You listen here, Bridget, and you listen good. I have no regrets for what I’ve done. None. I work for the United Nations Intelligence and I look after national security, and if you can’t live with what I am—with what I have done—then you should leave now.”
She chews her bottom lip as she considers what I have just said. “You said you left the army.”
“I did. You know I did. The last thing I would ever do would be to put you in danger like you were last night.”
“You… you could have died,” she stammers.
“So, I die. That is my job. You don’t interfere.”
Her face falls. “Your life is more valuable to me than national security, Ben. I don’t give a fuck about national security if it takes you away from me,” she whispers angrily.
I drop my head and frown. “Bridget…” I sigh. “I’m wired differently. My personal needs don’t come into this. Any serviceman who defends his country doesn’t get to have personal needs. We band together for the greater good. Nobody ever wants to leave their families to go defend and fight, but we do what we have to do.”
Her eyes fill with tears. She frowns as she grabs my hand over the table. “I want you to fight for me.”
I pull my hand from her grip. “Do you? Do you really? Think long and hard about that, Didge.”
She watches me, as if not understanding.
“I have a specialised skill set, Bridget. I’m a sniper. If needed again I may have to go back, and I would need to know that you would be with me on this. I’d need to know I could kiss you goodbye and know you were proud of me and of what I’m doing. Could you honestly do that?”
She stares at me blankly.
I smile sadly. And there is my painful answer. I exhale heavily. “I don’t expect you to understand. Not everyone can be with a serviceman.”
“Why are you turning this back on me now?” she asks.
“Because I want you safe. Because I don’t know what the fuck is going on in Washington at the moment, and I have to go back there and find out.”
“What are you saying? You want me to leave you so that I’m safe?”
My eyes hold hers. “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
She shakes her head. “You may be brave on the battlefield, Ben, but you’re a goddamn coward when it comes to me.”
I glare at her.
“You said you left and that you wanted a normal life,” she snaps. “Did you or did you not?”
“Did,” I snap.
“Was this in your plan?”
I narrow my eyes. “You know it wasn’t.”
“Do you love me or not?”
I shake my head. “That’s a stupid fucking question.”
“This is black and white. You either go back and find out what the hell is going on and then come home to me, or you leave and go back permanently,” she snaps.
I narrow my eyes. “That’s not black and white. This is the black and white facts of it, Didge,” I snap as I begin to lose my patience. “You are either an army wife who fully supports the UNI, or you’re not.”
She sits back and folds her arms in front of her. “And if I am?”
“Then you come to Washington with me, so I can sort out this mess.”
She narrows her eyes. “And if I’m not?”
“Then you go home and forget all about me, because I can’t live a life with someone who’s not on the same page as me. I am who I am. I can’t change my past. I don’t want to.”
