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Dash huffs and turns his back on me.
“Wait,” I say as his hand grasps the lever. He pauses. “I know I fucked up, but give me the chance to make it right with her.”
It’s awkward, talking to him like this. About his sister, no less. But Briar has a way of kicking my pride to the back seat. Dash turns around, and the eyes that match Briar’s are filled with contempt.
“There is no making it right,” he says through gritted teeth. “You betrayed our friendship. You took advantage of her, and then you left her when she needed you. There’s nothing else to say.”
“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” I say, trying to rein in my temper. I’m doing my best to play nice. I know I’m in the wrong here, but he doesn’t know what Briar and I have. He doesn’t know how deep my feelings for her run. He doesn’t know that it’s always been her. I just need a chance to fix it.
“If you care about her, let her go. Stop dicking her around. She’s having a hard enough time as it is.”
“Is she okay?” I ask, immediately concerned.
“Just let her go,” he says, shaking his head and stepping inside.
And then I’m left staring at the closed door. But I can’t let her go. I don’t know how.
Chapter 19
Briar
I power off my phone and toss it into the drawer of my nightstand. Asher has texted and called more times than I can count. I can’t bring myself to read the messages. It’s hard enough to stay away. I’m afraid I’ll cave after a few carefully plucked words, and then I’ll be in the same position once more, a couple of months down the line. Empty. Lost. Broken.
It took every ounce of strength I had not to at least hear Asher out when he came to my door yesterday. Everything inside me was screaming to love him and nurture him and just be there for him. To see how he was coping after his loss. But it’s all so convoluted now, and some addictions can only be overcome by quitting cold turkey. The withdrawals won’t last forever; you just have to be strong enough to survive them.
When Dash came back inside, he tiptoed around me, like I was some fragile creature, waiting to see if I was aware of Asher’s presence. I didn’t say a word. I let him think I was oblivious. What difference does it make, anyway?
“You good?” Natalia asks, zipping my suitcase. Natalia’s mom offered me a job at her boutique, and Nat just signed a lease on a condo and extended me an open invitation to stay for a week or forever—her words, not mine. I decided to take her up on it and get out of Dodge for a while.
Standing up to my parents and informing them of my plans to take a year off seemed like nothing in comparison to recent revelations. Mom took the news pretty well. I still haven’t spoken to my father, but I know he’s unhappy with the news, if the voicemails he left on my phone are anything to go by. Dashiell’s at least working on a degree from somewhere, even if it’s not Dad’s school of choice. Not going straight to college at all is unacceptable in his eyes. The pressure and weight of indecision and uncertainty were lifted, only to be replaced by the crushing weight of Asher’s absence.
“Yep,” I say, forcing a smile, but she sees through it, giving me a sad one in return.
“You’re not curious about what he had to say?” Nat asks skeptically, with a nod of her chin toward the drawer.
“Of course, I am,” I say bluntly. “But that’s how you fall into old habits.” She chews on her bottom lip, and I can tell she’s trying desperately not to say something.
“Spit it out.” I sigh, stretching out on my stomach on the bed next to her. “Don’t hurt yourself.”
“You didn’t see his face, Bry,” she starts. “He was climbing the fucking walls at the hospital, and he blamed himself for your fall. Dash didn’t help matters,” she mumbles the last part.
“What do you mean? I told you guys—it was Whitley.” She’s the one who caused my fall, in more ways than one.
“Dash insists Asher pushed you, and honestly, I think it’s easier for him to blame Ash for everything.”
“He pushed me out of the way. It was my brother who almost hit me,” I argue.
“Either way,” she shrugs, “they both blame him. Then once he got the news about his dad, I think it was just too much for him.”
“Whose side are you on?” I try to joke, but it falls flat. “You guys don’t even like each other.”
“Yeah, well. Things change. And I wouldn’t be your best friend if I didn’t give it to you straight.”
“I just hope they can figure it out,” I admit sadly. Even though I know he’s no good for me, I don’t want him to be alone in this world.
“It’ll all work out,” she says reassuringly.
“Hey, whatever happened with Adrian?” I ask, suddenly remembering her mission to make him want her.
