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“Figures you’d make this about you,” I say, working my jaw back and forth. I knew she’d be pissed, but she’ll get over it. We’ve been through worse. It’s always been us against the world. Drug addict parents. Drug dealing. Abuse. Poverty. Countless fights over the years. None of it has ever been enough to make Lo turn her back on me. That’s not what we do.
“Is it not about me? I dropped out to take care of you. I made sure you got to school every day. I made sure you had food and a bed to come home to.”
“I didn’t come here for another Lo lecture,” I say, my voice devoid of any emotion.
“No,” she agrees, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “You just came here to tell me you’re pissing away your shot. You came here to tell me you’re going back to the fucking life we had to crawl our way out of.”
I swallow hard, the guilt hitting my gut like a brick. “I got kicked off the team, okay?” I shout. Her mouth snaps shut.
“It was only a matter of time, right?” I take another swig. “I’m not meant for that life anyway. I’m not meant for college. Besides, you have Dare to take care of you now.” My meaning is clear. She always said I was the only one who could amount to anything. I was supposed to be our ticket out of that life, but Dare swooped in like a goddamn Disney prince, fixing all our problems.
Something flashes in Lo’s eyes, but before she can respond, I pick up the duffle bag at my feet, shrug it over my shoulder, and raise the bottle of Jack in Dare’s direction. “I’m taking this.”
“For such a smart kid, you’re being a dumbass,” Dare says, disappointment written all over his face. I bob my head. Fair assessment. Lifting the hand with the bottle, I give them a salute before walking out the door.
* * *
THE ONE GOOD THING ABOUT working nights at Blackbear Bar? The fact that I get to be in charge of the music selection. Green Day blares from the speakers as I make my rounds, making sure the remaining customers are set before last call. I applied the day I met Dylan here, and the manager, Lo, hired m
e on the spot.
As soon as the last person pays his ticket, I crank the music louder. Technically, we’re open for another hour, but it’s Thursday, so it’s probably safe to start closing down. Jake, the owner slash bartender, shakes his head, amused, as he holds out the bowl of suckers, knowing my routine. I pluck out my favorite flavor—butterscotch—before I set to wiping down the tables.
“You can take off, Allison,” Jake tells me as he slaps a stack of bills onto the bar top for me. “I’ll take care of it.”
“You sure?” I ask. I don’t want to skip out early. I’m still the new girl.
Before he gets the chance to answer, the door flies open. I startle, head whipping in the direction to find a group of people stumbling in. They’re loud and, by the looks of it, drunk. My eyes widen before narrowing with annoyance when they meet a familiar pair of hazel ones.
Jesse fucking Shepherd. Some girl is curled around his bicep, and I can’t tell whether she’s using him to hold herself up or if she’s just trying to send a very clear signal that she’s interested.
He sends a smirk my way, but I roll my eyes, already annoyed. Embarrassment rolls through me when I think about how he left me that night, but I straighten my spine, unwilling to show any signs of weakness or insecurity. In fact, he did me a favor that night. The embarrassment I’m feeling now is only a fraction of how I’d feel if I let things go any further.
“We’re closing soon, Jess,” Jake informs him, but Jesse simply swaggers up and parks his ass in a booth, his friends following suit.
“We’re celebrating,” he explains with a hollow smile.
I look over to Jake who gives me a reluctant nod, letting me know to go ahead and serve them. I grab a couple of menus and head over to their table, trying to keep my face neutral. “What can I get started for you guys?” I ask after I take the sucker out of my mouth. I should’ve ditched it, but I can’t do it now without it being awkward. Not having anywhere else to put it, I place it back in my mouth and stare at my notepad, waiting for their orders.
“I want some fuckin’ fries!” one of the girl slurs. Then, the group of seven hurls their orders at me all at once. Everyone except Jesse. Finally, I look up from my order pad to meet his eyes.
“Allie Girl.” He smiles, but it’s not his usual, carefree smile that I remember. This one doesn’t quite reach his eyes. But then I remind myself that I don’t care.
“It’s Allison,” I correct. “What do you want?” I aim for unaffected and end up coming off snappy instead.
“This, for starters.” He plucks the sucker out of my mouth before popping it into his own. My eyes widen, and he leans back against the booth with a raised brow, daring me to react, so naturally, I do the exact opposite, even though his demeanor throws me off.
“How’s Halston?” a guy asks, and I realize it’s Sullivan—or Sully. He and Halston ended up hooking up that night, which served as the perfect diversion to distract her from questioning me about what happened with Jesse. I never went back to the party. I put on my headphones and fell asleep to the sound of Jimmy Eat World in my ears until Halston waltzed in at four A.M., looking freshly fucked and giddy as hell about it.
“She’s fine. I’ll get these orders in.” I turn without giving them a chance to respond.
“You know Jess?” Jake asks when I approach. I shake my head.
“Not really.” I’m definitely not explaining to my boss that I almost hooked up with him, especially since finding out that Lo is his sister. Halston filled me in, but I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. They both have the same thick, unruly, dark hair and hazel eyes, except Jesse’s are more green than brown. Not that I stared deep into his eyes or anything.
“Want me to take them?” Jake asks, flicking his chin toward Jesse’s table. I glance behind me to catch him staring straight at me, much to the dismay of the drunk yet beautiful girl draping herself across his lap.
“I got it,” I insist. I refuse to let Jesse know he’s gotten to me in any way. It was probably just another weekend for him. Why should it be any different for me?
