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God, I’m an idiot. I’m so afraid to let myself think that whatever we have, that this connection between us, is real. I’ve never really had anyone who stuck around, besides Jade. Even my mom bails whenever she gets the chance. I’ve always felt alone in this life. If I let myself become dependent on anyone else and it didn’t work out, it would make going back to my solitary existence unbearable. I’d know exactly what I’d be missing out on. But right now, looking into his eyes that are full of truth and conviction, I realize that it’s too late for that. I’m already his.
My eyes start to water and my bottom lip starts to wobble. I feel so stupid. He smooths my chin out with his thumb.
“Don’t be a brat, Dolly. I want you. I want inside you. But I mostly just want you. I want this. I know you’re not used to having someone who genuinely gives a shit about you. Well, I’m not used to genuinely giving a shit about anyone. Ever. This is new for both of us. Don’t self-sabotage because you don’t know how to let me…” He trails off, jaw clenched, like he didn’t mean to divulge all of that.
“Let you what?” I’m sure my eyes are as big as saucers, and I hate the hopefulness, the desperation that I know he can detect in my voice.
“Nothing. Let’s get you home.”
“I thought we were going somewhere else?” My whole body sags with disappointment.
“Another time.”
That’s all he gives me before pulling out of the parking lot and back onto the street.
“Don’t be mad,” I say as I pick at my fingernails and stare into my lap.
“I’m not mad at you. I just want to be home with you right now.”
Home. Our home. Just the two of us. At least, until she comes back…
Rain is still falling as we get home like the universe senses yet another shift between us, but neither one is in any hurry to get inside. Graham helps me out of the car and takes my hand. He holds it all the way to the front door. We jog lightly, backs hunched to cover our heads from the rain. I feel warmth and safety radiating from the way he holds onto my hand. And holy shit, I’m doing this with my step-dad. Somehow, even after sucking him off earlier, this feels like the most intimate thing we’ve done. Sure, we both have been lusting for each other, but the way he just casually took my hand, like it was the most natural thing in the world, feels like so much more.
Graham unlocks the door, and once we’re inside, he kicks it closed. He then turns around so suddenly that I back up into the closed door with a little gasp. He puts his forehead against mine, breathing ragged, eyes closed, fists clenched on either side of my head. We are both soaking wet and a puddle is forming at our feet. The house is pitch black and my mother’s drunken murmurs from the kitchen is noticeably absent. What is going through his mind right now? I don’t have time to contemplate because all of the sudden, his mouth is on mine, his thick tongue swirling around mine. He kisses me desperately, savagely, while he grips my hair at the nape of my neck. He gives a sharp tug, and it’s like a direct line to my clit.
I moan into his mouth, and return his kiss with fervor. He abruptly pulls back and I whine in protest while pushing out my bottom lip in an admittedly immature move. Graham grips my face in his hands, and scans it for something, though I’m not sure what. He seems to come to a conclusion though, because he wordlessly grabs my hand again, and leads me upstairs. He hesitates at my door for only a second before continuing to his room. My mom doesn’t share his room. Neither of us are allowed in there. No one is, not even the cleaning service. Mom’s room is at one end of the hall, and Graham’s is on the other. Mine is right in between.
I tug on his hand to get his attention.
“What are you doing, Graham?”
He turns around to address me, and I crane my neck to look into his eyes, that are completely unreadable. I can’t figure out if he wants to eat me or kill me.
“You’re sleeping with me from now on.” He says it with such finality and I can’t help but feel a little thrill at the thought of sharing a room with him.
“Fuck, I wanted to wait until you turn eighteen before I touched you at all. I really fucking did, but it’s happening tomorrow night, and I don’t have more willpower in me to resist this. Your showing up at Hot N’ Bothered changed everything, faster than I’d hoped for it to happen. And now…” There’s a flicker in his eyes and he no longer looks remorseful or contemplative, just plain evil. Sexy evil. “Now, it’s too late for you, Dolly. You’re mine. To the bedroom. My bedroom,” he instructs.
I gingerly take steps toward the master bedroom, all too aware that inside, there are sheets and candles and throw pillows picked out by my mother. Even though she’s not allowed in here, she always makes sure every room in her house has her touch. Graham stalks me down the hallway, his body pressed to mine. He seems to sense what I’m thinking about, because he whispers in my ear. “She sleeps in the guest room and you fucking know that. There was never any way I’d touch your mother. Not when all I could think about since you turned sixteen is how I want to touch you.”
Graham’s room is pretty much what I expected. Dark. Immaculate. Impersonal. Just like him. It could pass for a fancy hotel room, save for the bookshelf full of well-loved classics. It’s always been clear that his room is off limits, and to be honest, I never really cared about Graham, until recently, let alone what his room looked like. I went from having misplaced anger toward him, to being indifferent, then having an innocent crush, and finally to now… whatever this is.
My eyes roam around the room, trying to soak up every detail in an attempt to learn something more about this stepdaddy stranger of mine. Three whole years, and I’m just now starting to feel like I’m getting to know him.
I don’t have a chance to further my exploration, because he comes up behind me and starts peeling my dres
s from my body. Neither of us say a word. I let him undress me in complete silence, with the exception of my pounding heart. He drops his head to the crook of my neck and inhales deeply. After a moment, he unclasps my bra and I let it fall to the floor. Then he rolls the matching nude lace thong over my hips and down my legs, caressing them along the way, and dropping to his knees behind me. I’m only in my ankle boots now, and at first I feel silly, but when he turns me around by my hips and I see the look in his eyes, I feel anything but. His face is practically level with the part of me that has barely been touched, and I’m shaking with anticipation; I’m scared but I want this.
He slides each boot off, then stands up and leads me to the bed.
“Get in.” Apparently, tonight he’s a man of few words. But I comply, because something inside me wants to please him.
I watch him strip down to his boxer briefs, and Jesus fuck, he is the most beautiful, most formidable man I have ever seen. The light smattering of hair on his chest reminds me that he is a man, unlike Shawn and all the other boys I’m surrounded by at school. He’s a much older man and maybe I’m fucked up because that just makes me want him more. My eyes trail all the peaks and valleys of his torso, down to that perfect fucking v-shaped Adonis belt. I swallow hard, and I swear a deep chuckle rumbles from his lips but I can’t be sure… because the ‘V’.
Graham climbs in next to me, pulls me into his warm, hard body, and then… nothing. I’m lying on my side, head on his chest, and he leisurely strokes my hair. What the fuck?
His eyes are closed and his hand keeps stroking when he finally says, “Go to sleep, Dolly.”
A whine slips out because I’m so worked up. I’ve had major blue bean all night since the strip club, and now, after that little performance, he tells me to go to sleep?
