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Now the sexy expression was gone from her eyes. She didn’t look at me with desire, the way she did when my dick was in her mouth. The look she gave me was completely different, like I’d just sucked all her spirit away. “Why?” She repeated the same question a second time, demanding an answer even though she couldn’t demand anything from me.
“Doesn’t matter.” I dropped my jeans and my boxers then moved on top of her on the bed. I scooted her toward the pillows so I would have plenty of room to fold her underneath me.
“It matters to me.” She pressed her hand against my chest, like the action could somehow steady me.
“When you kiss and fuck, it’s lovemaking. When you just fuck, it’s fucking. I don’t do lovemaking.”
“So you never kiss anyone?”
“Never.” I liked the way her hair was spread out around her, stretching outward across the bedspread. Her blue eyes were bright like the diamonds that had just covered her body. She was tense with fear, and I liked that she was afraid.
“Do you not like it?”
“I love it. But I never want to feel anything. I like not feeling anything at all.”
“Why don’t you want to feel anything?”
I came in here to fuck her, to claim my reward for saving her life. I wasn’t in the mood for chitchat. “Enough with the talking.” I spread her legs with my thighs and tilted her hips until she was angled perfectly underneath me. I could barely keep my breathing even because I finally had this woman spread underneath me, ready to be fucked good and hard. I wanted to stretch her and make her bleed for the first time.
She tensed underneath me, consternation spreading over her face. She didn’t move with me the way she did the other night. She gripped my arms hard to steady herself. She wasn’t fluid and free. She wouldn’t even look at me.
I pressed my crown to her entrance and pushed gently.
“Conway…”
I ignored her and kept pressing, trying to push into her tight entrance. But she was so tight I couldn’t break through. It would take work for me to sink inside. But the wait would be worth it. Feeling her resistance was only a turn-on. Untouched and innocent, her body wasn’t used to taking a man.
“I…I don’t want this.”
I looked into her eyes, watching the fear grow inside.
“I want it to be different. I want it to be mean something.”
I kept my dick pressed against her, but I didn’t try to push farther inside. “I don’t care what you want. I bought you—and I can do whatever I want.”
“Conway, please. I’ve been waiting my whole life for the right guy. I know he isn’t you…but I don’t want it to be like this. I want you to touch me, to kiss me, for it to be gentle and slow. I know it’s stupid—”
“It is stupid. People think losing their virginity is supposed to be a magical experience. It’s usually not. It’s awkward, bumpy, and painful. There was never going to be a Prince Charming to make your first time any different. Why should I?” I saw her as a physical possession, something I’d spent a fortune on. She was the key to my success, to making me the greatest designer the world would ever see. My lingerie would still thrive even long after I was gone.
She kept her legs open, but her eyes showed her disappointment. “I know you saved my life. I know you paid a fortune for me. I know I should just shut up and take it…but you’re keeping me for the rest of your life. I guess it’s just one favor I want to ask.”
“You think you’re in any position to ask for favors?” My dick was hard, and I was horny as fuck. I should have sunk inside her by now. I should be surrounded by her warm tightness. I should be ramming her right this second, getting off to the incredible pussy that tasted amazing.
Defeat finally entered her eyes. “Fine…” She widened her legs farther, surrendering to me completely. The argument was finally over, and she was ready for me to take her exactly how I wanted.
As hard as I was, I hated that look in her eyes. I hated her disappointment. It hurt me in ways I couldn’t explain. I should just use her the way I promised I would, but something held me back. I wasn’t a good guy and never claimed to be one, so there was no guilty conscience stopping me.
But I couldn’t do it.
I wanted to fuck her so goddamn bad.
But I didn’t.
I growled under my breath then got off her, all the muscles in my body flexed with fury. My arousal had given away to rage, and I wanted to punch a hole in the wall since I wasn’t getting what I wanted.
