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It was anticlimactic. “What are you doing?” I asked into the darkness.
“Sleeping. Now shut up.”
“You never just sleep.”
“Shh. You’re a lot more annoying when you’re drunk.”
“And you’re a lot more annoying when you aren’t fucking me. That’s all you’re good for. So why aren’t you doing it now?” I turned over to look at him.
He stared at me furiously. “Did it cross your mind that maybe I don’t want you right now? Because I don’t like stupid women who do stupid shit? I’ve never found you less attractive than I do right now.”
I slapped him across the face. “Fuck you.”
He turned with the hit and clenched his jaw, but he didn’t hit me back.
“I went out tonight looking to get laid. That’s what I want.”
“Really?” he countered. “Because it looked like you were trying to get raped.”
I smacked him even harder this time, hitting him so hard my palm left a print.
He took the hit again without striking back. “Shut up and go to sleep.”
“Shut up and leave.”
“Do you want me to fuck you or leave?” he countered. “Pick one.”
I kicked him under the sheets. “I want you to leave and never come back. I wish my family killed your mother so you’d never been born. That’s what I want, asshole.”
I knew I’d crossed a line when he gave me that look, that look that told me I may not live long enough to take my next breath. His eyes narrowed with hostility, and there was so much threat in that expression I was actually scared.
Scared that this would be the moment I died.
His chest rose and fell rapidly as he breathed through his anger. He reminded me of a tiger about to rip his prey to shreds. He had the muscle to pull off each of my limbs. He could even tear off my head if he wanted to.
But what would he do first?
I scooted away, becoming more afraid as the seconds passed. I couldn’t move as quickly as I wanted to because I was too drunk to think straight. I was just confused…scared and confused.
He left the bed, yanked on his clothes, and then stormed out.
The door slammed behind him.
And then it was quiet.
I lay back on the pillow, the room spinning a little because I’d had way too much to drink. I wasn’t even sure how I walked in a straight line on the sidewalk. Once Bones was gone, the bed felt ice-cold. I started to feel scared, scared that I was alone in the apartment without him there. What if those men came back for me? The paranoia started to kick in, my illogical thoughts taking over.
Bones saved me. If he hadn’t been there at that moment, I might be sitting in the back of that car. Or I might be naked in some strange bed, being raped by three different men. I put myself in a dangerous situation, and he saved me.
My father would be so disappointed in me.
I started to lose my grip on reality, this psychological prison taking its toll.
I hated myself.
I hated myself for being so weak.
This wasn’t me.
I wasn’t Vanessa Barsetti anymore.
Now, I couldn’t sleep. I stared at the ceiling, feeling a little bit of the warmth that lingered after he left. I was naked under the sheets, and I wished his naked skin was pressed against mine. I missed the man I hated. I only felt safe when my tormentor was with me. It was a paradox, but it didn’t change the way I felt.
I wished he would come back.
And then I heard the sound of the front door. It was quiet, opening and closing softly.
Was it him?
Or was it someone else?
I sat up in bed, trying to understand if I’d really heard the sound or not. I could just be paranoid, hearing things that my mind invented.
Then he stepped into the room, his shirt already gone and his jeans coming undone.
Thank god.
I moved to my knees and reached for him, needing that strong body on top of mine. I needed his warmth to feel safe, needed to be underneath him to know that nothing could hurt me.
He got his jeans off then moved to me. “I’m here, baby.”
My arms circled his neck, and I kissed him, kissed him with passion. I kissed him in apology, touching his body everywhere to make up for the way I’d savagely struck him. I fell back and pulled him with me. “Don’t leave…”
“I won’t.” He separated my thighs with his knees and moved inside me. “I’m staying right here with you.”
“Don’t ever leave me.” I pulled on his hips and felt his big dick all the way inside me. I moaned when I felt him, finally feeling safe now that this strong man was on top of me, inside me.
“I won’t.”
“Promise me.” I kissed him hard on the mouth, feeling him so thick and deep.
