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There was no other woman like her.
“I love you more than anything else in the world, baby.” I said the confession as I was buried deep inside her, speaking the truth. She was more important than my money, my revenge, and everything else. She was more important than me—and I would do anything for her. “And I only love you.”
I sat at the table across from her, having just left my office.
“How’s Shane?” She made lunch, sandwiches and chips. It was the only thing she knew how to make—because it didn’t require any pots or pans.
“Good. His wife has put him on lockdown, though. He’s not allowed to go anywhere or do anything.”
“Not a bad idea,” she said. “Sounds like the two of us would get along well.”
They were both spunky and full of attitude. “Actually, you probably would.”
“Maybe we should do a double date.”
“So you can gang up on us?” I challenged.
“There’s two of you and two of us. Not exactly ganging up…unless you’re just scared?”
I was a little scared. Two women who knew they had us wrapped around their fingers would be our greatest foe. “He’s still recovering anyway, so maybe some other time.”
She chuckled. “So that’s a yes.”
I covered up my response by eating.
Vanessa dropped the subject, but she had a knowing look in her eyes, like she was aware she had me by the balls. “Do you have another operation soon?”
“No, it won’t be for a while. It rotates to the other guys before it comes back to me.”
“Good…hopefully that won’t be for a very long time.”
“Probably a month.”
“Thank god.” She sighed in relief. “I’ll have to go through this twelve times a year…”
“I’m gonna talk to Max about dropping these higher-level operations. We just don’t have the manpower. We need to stick to simple hits.”
“Or better yet, you could all just retire…”
Never gonna happen. “This is my job, baby. I’m not going to change. You’re going to have to learn to accept that.”
“I will never accept you risking your life for money. I would much rather be poor.”
“It’s not just about the money. I need this…for my anger.”
“No, you need me,” she countered. “And you haven’t been angry in a long time. You don’t need violence or blood to cope with your pain anymore. You get all of that from being with me.”
I hadn’t noticed it until she pointed it out. Ever since she came back to me, I hadn’t felt an ounce of pain. I’d been too busy making love to her or watching TV with her to realize. I was happy…something I’d never been before. But that didn’t change anything. I was part of this enterprise, and I couldn’t just walk away. They could handle the business without me, but it would be difficult with three men instead of four. “Drop it, Vanessa.”
Her eyes narrowed when I said her first name, but she didn’t say anything more about it.
We ate in tense silence, the sound of our moving mouths filling the air between us. I watched her and she watched me, but neither one of us tried to change the subject to make the air a little calmer.
We finished our meal and continued to sit there. That morning, I made love to her good and slow the way she liked, and then I hit the gym on the third floor. She painted in her art room, and now we were together for lunch. I should go back to my office and finish paperwork, and she should get back to the art studio.
But we continued to sit there.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot…” She dropped her gaze and looked at her empty plate. “I want you guys to meet.” She didn’t look at me, knowing my gaze would be furious. “Even if it doesn’t go well, which it probably won’t…I can’t keep living a lie anymore. I can’t keep lying to them.”
“They’ll be furious, Vanessa.”
“I know they will. But they’ll come around…eventually. Once they get to know you, in time, they’ll see what I see.”
I couldn’t stop myself from scoffing. “Baby, I kept you as a prisoner and held your family’s lives over your head. I made you fuck me to keep them alive. Let’s not rewrite history here. I have no idea why you fell in love with me.”
“I fell in love with you because you changed.”
“But if they knew—”
“They don’t need to know. All they need to know is you love me and protect me. You would never let anything happen to me. Just because you’re your father’s son doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”
“I am a bad person, baby. I kill people for money. Don’t make me go in there and lie about who I am. I’m not going to lie for anybody—not even you. Your father and your uncle aren’t innocent men, so they can’t judge me. Your father’s relationship with your mother wasn’t much different from ours. He may not like who I am, but if he’s ever going to trust me, he needs to know I’m honest. So honest that he doesn’t like what I have to say. That’s how men work. He will probably never like me, but there is hope that he may come to respect me…eventually.”
